


Play on

by DOA



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxious Katsuki Yuuri, Broken Yuuri, But his backstory is different, Everyone is important in some way, Expect two people who I'm sorry I made mean, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, He's less crying and more angry, I'm probably adding characters too, It's confusing, Lots of Sex, M/M, Oops, Pining victor, Slow Burn, They're both on totally different wavelengths, Victor is too sweet for his own good, Yuuri is pretty OCC, and SMUT, but in a weird way, everyone is, he's a cinnamon roll, i guess, kind of, lots of smut, so this is how I think he'd be in the circumstance, sorry - Freeform, switching POV, there will be angst also
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-09-14 22:10:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9205307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DOA/pseuds/DOA
Summary: "Consider it a business arrangement. We make music and fuck." He says and I look up at him. I mean, it pretty obvious I like him. He's obviously a good fuck, but would this make things weird? I have feelings for him and he obviously isn’t looking for anything emotional.I look up at him with his big amber eyes and realized I'm fucked either way, so I might as well enjoy it."Yeah, sure."_______________Basically, they're in a band together, Victor is a romantic and Yuuri is a cynic.Friends With Benefits AU





	1. Accident

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is my first pic for the Yuri! On Ice fandom and I'm really looking forward to seeing how this goes! I'll try to update as much as possible, but if I don't update between then, expect Sunday updates. Let me know what you think and I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Also, this chapter is NSFW. Kind of just expect that in most chapters.
> 
> (I totally have a head cannon that Victor can't dress for shit so when he knows he looks nice, he feels really good about it.)

Victor's POV

 

“Fuck off Chris.”

“Just sleep with him already!” He basically scolds me and I roll my eyes.

“He doesn’t…”

“Yes he does.”

“Not in that way.” Chris and I have the same argument we’ve been having for the past three weeks. Chris and I have been best friends since college, along with Mila who is just sitting with an amused smile on her face. I’ve known Mila my whole life along with our other friend, Yurio, which is why she’s just watching. She knows I’m not gonna give in.

Our tour started two days ago and Chris is already trying to shove me onto Yuuri. Who’s Yuuri, you may ask? Just a twenty-year-old that my twenty-five-year-old self is stupid enough to have a crush on. _Well, I guess tomorrow is his birthday, but still._

“Phichit says he’s just cynical.” Mila says about her boyfriend, Yuuri’s best friend. I roll my eyes as I continue getting dressed.

“Yeah, so was I until about two months ago. Now I’m a fucking sap.” I sulk a bit. Do you blame me? I’m pining over a guy I have basically no chance with. Mila scoffs and stands up.

“Victor, you’ve always wanted love. You’re just awkward.”

“Am not!”

“You’re shirt’s inside-out.” She points out with a smirk. I quickly take it off and she takes the short sleeved flannel from my hands and dangles it in front of my nose.

“How many of these do you have?” She asks, looking a mix of entertained and disappointed.

“Three.”

“I’m burning all of them.” She says and goes to my suitcase, throwing a shirt at me. I uncrumple the ball and take note of the white v-neck. _Okay, v-necks, not plaid._

“Anyways, back to Yuuri.” Chris says and Mila rolls her eyes.

“He’s not gonna listen to anything you say, but he will do what… did you pack all three?” She cuts off and I shrug.

“I think only two.”

_Please don’t let her find my favorite._

“Liar!”

_Dammit._

“Will you guys shut up!” Chris yells and Mila and I stop. God, Chris was dramatic when he wants to be. “Victor, you’re sleeping in the single room and he’s with Phichit, something is bound to happen.” He says and I roll my eyes.

“If you were trying to match-make, then why didn’t you put Mila in the same room as Phchit and take my single, Mr. Publicist?” I ask and he laughs as though it’s obvious.

“Because they’re already dating publicly, so for publicity reasons, fans can’t know they share a room. Plus, Mila is bound to sexile Yuuri at some point.”

“Or I sexile you.” She points out and I cover my mouth to hold back a chuckle. Literally nothing has changed from college.

“Speaking of, I’m meeting with Yuuri for lunch in ten minutes, so I’m gonna have to kick you guys out so I can head over.”

“Told you not to bother lecturing him. It’s gonna happen on it’s own. That man is _far_ gone.” Mila says to Chris and I guess my thoughts of why she was being quiet were wrong. They leave with smug smiles that make me want to tear my hair out. They’re family to me, so while I do like them, I _really_ hate them sometimes.

I go into the bathroom in my room and fix my hair, making sure it doesn’t look bad before I realize I need to wear a hat. God, I hate people knowing me.I go to my suitcase which is unsurprisingly neater than I left it after Mila’s invasion. After grabbing a blue beanie, I go to the mirror again and fix it on my head. I shrug because, well, it could be worse, and walk out of my room and down the hall. I get to his door, take a breath, and open it after finding it’s unlocked.

And I could’ve never predicted what I opened the door to. Yuuri Katsuki is laying on his bed with three fingers up his ass and hand around his dick.

He’s moaning loudly and I instantly feel myself get hard as his eyes open and he looks at me and…

“Victor-you’re-early-holy-fuck-sorry!” He screams in one breath, pulling the towel he was on to cover himself and I can’t even bring myself to move. The object of my attractions is jerking off… no, finger fucking himself in front of me. Even if he stopped, just the image is enough to make me want to cross the room and bang him. Especially when he bites his lower lip and his eyes trail down to my obvious boner. Shit, I have a boner. But he hasn’t made a move to actually take his fingers out. Despite covering himself, the hand hasn’t moved. I mean, I could always walk in and… nope. _No. Bad idea, Victor. Try to be decent for once in your life._

“Um, sorry!” I yell and turn around, slamming the door behind me.

_Yeah, real decent, Victor._

 

 

* * *

 

  

“So…”

“I saw you masturbate?”

“God, don’t say it so casually!” He shrieks and I smile at his shaken expression.

“Calm down, I’m pretty sure everyone does it. I know I do.” I say and he blushes and buries his face in his hands and I decide not to add that I masturbated about thirty seconds after I left his room. He texted me asking if I still wanted to meet and I quickly showered the lower half of my body before leaving.

“I literally just wanted a grilled cheese sandwich and now you’re gonna make it awkward.” He says and I smirk.

“Grilled cheese? You sure you don’t want chicken fingers?” I tease and he drops his hands, looking an odd mixed of flustered and pissed while trying not to laugh.

“Victor, I swear to god.” He scolds in a harsh whisper and I lean forward.

“You can watch me masturbate sometime.” I say jokingly, though I’m only half kidding. He turns even darker, if that’s possible, and shifts in his seat.

“I hate you.”

“Lies.” I break and start laugh and he giggles as well. I swear, I will never understand how people don’t find Yuuri attractive. Even now with his glasses dangling on his nose and his black hair, slightly longer from when me first met, hanging in his face, and pale cheeks flushed, he’s such a beautiful boy.

“I’m gonna get our food.” He says and gets up, walking over to the counter and I look down at my phone.

 

_From Yurio- You and Yuuri finally on a date?_

 

Jeez, does _everyone_  in the band know that I have a thing for him?

 

_To Yurio- No, go fuck your boyfriend and leave me alone._

 

I respond back and Yuuri comes up to me with two trays of food, setting one with a club sandwich in front of me. It’s funny that Yuuri knows my order at most restaurants by know and we’ve known each other for less than a year. He takes a bite of his grilled cheese and I smile. “Okay, you first today.” I say and he smiles.

“You learned enough about me today.” He tries, but I roll my eyes.

“So why don’t you eat meat? I know you love animals and all that, but you always blush when I ask and I can never figure out why.” I press and he flushes again.

“I do not and I’m not telling you my reason.” He responds and takes another bite of his sandwich. I roll my eyes.

“Fine. Then ask a question.” I say and he smiles, starting to actually relax again.

“What’s the story for the scar on your elbow?” He asks and I look up in disbelief because this boy notices everything.

“Ice skating. I fell.” I tell him and he raises an eyebrow.

“You were that bad?” He teases and I shake my head.

“I actually qualified for the Junior Olympics, but I had to choose between skating and music.” I tell him and his eyes widen.

“Well shit.” He says, taking a sip of his drink. Yuuri and I started doing this when he first joined the band. We wanted to get to know each other, so twice a week we would meet up and get lunch and ask each other questions. I know his favorite color, what school he went to, his childhood best friend, and other strange facts that we slowly figured out about each other. We generally only ask one or two questions because we just end up talking so much. When the others caught wind of this, they all told me I should date him, but I just have a feeling the answer would be no. I don’t want to ruin what we have right now as he smiles at me before looking up.

“Um… favorite fruit?”

“Why fruit?”

“Because I don’t know it yet.” He answers as if it’s obvious and I roll my eyes.

“Strawberries. You?” I ask and he shrugs.

“Raspberries, though I have to agree, strawberries are a strong second.”

“First date?” I ask and he groans.

“His name was Leo and we fucked in a drive-in. We decided we just wanted to be friends after that, but we ended up sleeping together at a couple parties. He’s married now and we’re still good friends.” He tells me and my eyes widen.

“Shit, that’s quite different. I didn’t know you were so lewd.” I tease and he looks down, smile a bit more somber.

“Things were different. I was pretty young.”

“Yeah, four years ago.” I murmur and he seems to forget whatever he was thinking and he laughs.

“Hey, it’s five years tomorrow. Finally gonna be legal.” He says and I roll my eyes, hating the way that makes me feel like a creep.

“You’ve been legal for awhile.” I remind him and he rolls his eyes.

“I just wanna get tipsy without getting worried about getting busted.” He tells me and I raise an eyebrow.

“Why only tipsy?” I ask and he bites his lower lip.

“You’ve learned enough today.” He says and finishes his sandwich.

“You’re a sexual drunk, aren’t you?”

“Stop asking questions related to my sex life, geez” He says and covers his face with his hands.

“You didn’t deny it.”

“Because it’s true so we’re moving on.” He admits quickly and I laugh.

“And here I thought you were innocent.” I tell him and he rolls his eyes as his hands drop.

“Says the guy known as I playboy. Why are we talking about this anyways?” He says, face red and I realize something.

“Yuuri, are you flustered by this?” I ask and he raises an eyebrow.

“How could I not be?” He responds and I smirk.

“Are you turned on?” “Shut up!” He shrieks and oops, he’s hiding his head between his arms on the table.

“There’s nothing wrong with me enjoying sex. I haven’t had sex in a year, I’m pretty sure I’m not a slut.” He says and I find myself lost.

“I never said you were.” I say and he peaks up at me, eyes fogged and I can’t tell if he’s worried or mad and honestly, it could be both, so I don’t push him anymore.

That’s one thing I know about Yuuri; don’t push him further than needed. Mila said that Phichit told her about Yuuri’s personal issues and I don’t want to set him off. He’s dealing with some thing that only Phichit and Yurio really know about. Phichit and Yuuri have been friends since they were little and Yurio is the reason the two of them got an audition to join the band.

They had all met at work at a record store and Yurio, while he would never admit it, really warmed up to Yuuri, which is really nice since Yurio is only 19 still. Even his boyfriend, Otabeck, is 21. I have happy when he found someone close to his age to be friends with. Yurio’s like a little brother to me, and I’m the creepy older brother that has a crush on his friend. Yuuri’s phone vibrates and he groans.

“Shit, Phichit is planning some huge birthday party.” He tells me and I nod.

“I mean, I wouldn’t say huge.” I say and he gives me an incredulous look.

“He tweeted it.”

“Shit.” I voice and he nods, smiling.

“Well, hopefully it’ll be fun.” He says with an exhausted smile as he looks at his friends twitter and I smile, as usual, unable to take my eyes off the boy. He looks up at me and raises an eyebrow, opening his mouth to talk when someone fills in the silence.

“Victor Nikiforov just checked in this building with Yuuri Katsuki!” Some random person yells and Yurri’s eyes widen.

“Victor, you idiot. This is why we eat at prepay places.” He says and grabs my hand, pulling me out of my seat and running out of the restaurant as people notice us.

_Well, at least I’ll probably be smiling in the pictures._


	2. Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!!! I know I'm a day late with this, but I wanted to make sure this chapter was a good set up of Yuuri. Sorry it took a day longer than I said! Expect a new chapter on at least Sunday, if not sooner. Thank you for reading and enjoy!
> 
> Possible triggers: recreational drugs, underaged drinking, past neglect (kind of..?), and heavy sexual implications.

Yuuri's POV

 

"It's your birthday!" Phichit yells, his brown eyes inches away from mine.

"I can't breathe." I wheeze and Phichit gets off my chest that he had jumped on to wake me up.

"Sorry bud." He says and sits next to me on the bed and I smile.

"It's fine." I say, grabbing my glasses from the night stand. He's grinning madly and I narrow my eyes.

"You did something, didn't you?"

"Yurio and I are kidnapping you for awhile." He says and I roll my eyes, smiling regardless. They've done this two years in a row now and we basically buy shitty Mexican food and get high. Phichit wiggles his eyebrows as I get up.

"Let me get ready." I say, going to the bathroom and pulling out my bag of toiletries. I brush my teeth, put in my contacts, put on a little coverup so my dark circles aren't noticeable, and deem myself presentable. I walk out of the bathroom to see Yurio also sitting on my bed now. I go to my suitcase and grab a pair of skinny jeans and a black and grey baseball tee. I change quickly as Yurio rolls his big blue eyes.

"Come on, Piggy, hurry up." He teases and I glare at him. He's one of my best friends, but he's a real dick when we wants to be.

"Yeah yeah." I say and take of my shirt. Both of my friends catcall me and I roll my eyes, chuckling.

"Stop it."

"I take back the pig comment, your ass gets better by the day." Yurio says and I just laugh because he's both a curse and a blessing. I change my pants and the Phichit throws me over his shoulder, just like every other year. I smack his ass in retaliation, not really bothered by the change in event. He grabs my shoes as we leave the room.

"How are we getting there the food?" Yurio asks and Phichit pats his front pocket, which jingles on impact.

"Chris is letting me borrow the car, but we're eating here. The weathers great and I have a key to the roof." He explains and I chuckle.

"You've thought of everything." I say and he smacks my butt.

"Shut up, you're being kidnapped." He scolds and I roll my eyes. A door opens and I watch as Victor looks out of his room, raising an eyebrow.

"We kind of need a bassist tonight." He calls down the hallway, face amused and Phichit looks over his shoulder.

"Don't worry. We're just getting him birthday stoned." He says and Victor laughs.

"Oh I remember the days." He says and Yurio rolls his eyes.

"Stop acting so old. You just smoked weed for the first time two weeks ago. You're only 25 asshole." He says and Victor puts his hand over his heart dramatically.

"Yurio, that's so sweet. But my hair is already going grey!" He exclaims as if his hair hasn't been naturally grey since he was little. He's so young and full of life, but it's funny because his features would normally make people look old. He had grey hair, styled in an undercut, bright blue eyes that stick out on pale skin, and he's tall and thin. Honestly, he's not thin as much as lean though. He has broad shoulders that lead to narrow, but strong hips. 

While Victor is the most ironic looking person I've ever met, he's also the most attractive.

"Nice to see you Victor, but we need to take this fucker to get food so he doesn't get drunk too fast tonight." Phichit says and Victor chuckles and waves.

"You guys have fun." He says and goes back into his room. Yurio smacks my butt again and I yelp.

"What was that for?" I ask and Yurio smirks.

"Oh, that one was for Victor." He says and I groan.

"Stop."

"He was staring at your ass." 

"Like, he was eyefucking your ass."

"I hate you both."

   

 

* * *

 

 

After two burritos each and two joints passed around, we're on the roof, high and full and talking about shit.

"But like, why is it brown?"

Literal shit.

"What do you mean?" Yurio asks and Phichit scoffs.

"Why brown? That's such an awful color! Why not orange?" He says and I laugh.

"How is orange better? Why not blue or purple?" I counter.

"Red?" Yurio adds.

"Red is blood." Phichit says and I look at him before rolling my eyes.

"Blood is red. Red isn't blood."

"Shit." He swears and Yurio and I just laugh.

"So, I think I'm gonna give you my present." Yurio says and I sit up.

"I said no presents." I say and he rolls his eyes.

"Phichit is giving you a party, I'm giving you something." He says and Phichit sits up.

"Shit, I forgot I had to call the bar!" He says and gets up, taking his trash bag. "I gotta go, but I'll see you guys at call time." He says and walks towards the door. "I'll leave the key over here!"

"Solid." Yurio responds and takes another hit. The door closed behind us as he hands me a grocery bag. He doesn't wrap anything. His logic is "why pay for something that's gonna be torn off?" Which, for the record, I support completely.

I open the bag to see three items. A phone case, a box of condoms, and...

"Is this a jar of piss?" I ask and he loses his shit. He laughs for a good 3 minutes before composing himself.

"No, it's moonshine, but that works too." He says and I face palm.

"Well now that we have three bodily fluids out of the way for the day."

"Four, I gave you condoms."

"Oh my god." I groan and he chuckles.

"You know, I gave you the condoms for a reason." He says randomly and I raise an eyebrow.

"You made that sound like you wanna bang me, which is funny considering you're asexual." I explain, half for myself because I don't know what he's getting at.

"You have a good ass, but Ota is the only one I wanna do anything with. And not fully asexual." He says with a smirk and I bury my face in my hands.

"Oh god, I don't want details." I say and he puts his hand on my shoulder, face serious.

"He eats the booty like groceries."

"Yurio!" I laugh and he smirks before it fades a bit.

"But seriously, get laid tonight." He tells me and now I get why he's doing this.

"Yurio, I'm fine." I tell him and he raises an eyebrow.

"You haven't had sex since you saw JJ and Isabella last and you have yet to tell me what they said to upset you so much." He says and I look off the roof. To make a long story short, JJ is my ex.

"It had nothing to do with..."

"11 months, Yuuri. It's not like you've had reservations about sex before, and then suddenly, you didn't want anything to do with it." He says as if I don't already know. The truth of the matter is JJ is only part of the reason I haven't been having sex. There's the fact I don't want it to get out to the media now that they keep an eye on me, there's the matter of not really having anyone I want to sleep with, and a few other factors I really don't like to think about.

"I don't need it." I state simply and he looks down.

"You know you're not a slut, right?" He asks and I look down as well. Well, that's one of the do-not-think-about factors.

"Am I that obvious?" I ask and he chuckles.

"No. You're pretty confusing, but I know you." He says and I smile.

"Thanks." I say, bumping my shoulder into his and he shrugs.

"Honestly, just don't make an idiot of yourself." He says and I think back to yesterday's little incident and groan.

"Trust me, I already have." I say, burying my face in my hands as I feel my cheeks go red at the memory. "Victor walked in to me masturbating."

"What?!" Yurio howls in laughter and I glare at him, but a small smile forms on my face and I chuckle too. I'm not sure if it's the weed or the hilarity of the situation, but I laugh as well and he sobers up, as if he got a great idea. "Sleep with Victor!" He says with a goofy smile and my jaw drops at the suggestion.

He's another factor I don't think about.

"No way! He's not interested in me in that way." I say and he raises an eyebrow.

"I'm taking note of the fact that you didn't first say you're not into him in that way." He says and I pause.

"Shit." I hiss and he laughs again.

"Yuuri, trust me, he's at least considered." He says, but I remain skeptical.

"Even if he was interested in that way, Victor wouldn't try anything with a band mate. He's a bit thick, but even he wouldn't do that."

"Unless he was gonna date them." He points out and I give him my most done-with-your-shit look I can muster.

"One, Victor would _never_ want to date me and two, I'm not dating again. I've told you that." I say and he blinks and looks down.

"I have comments on both of those points but I'm just gonna go with the second one." He tells me and looks up. God, he's a lightweight. "Yuuri, I really think you should try dating again." He tells me and I roll my eyes. Yurio used to be against love too until Otabeck came along, and while I'm happy for him, he tries to convince me that everyone will find the one. It's a nice thought, but this is his first serious relationship and people can honestly see them getting married someday. It's not that easy for me.

"The whole love thing just isn't for me, okay?" I ask and he just nods. We've exhausted the conversation so many times, so what he says next surprises me.

"Whatever you say, but you're gonna fall in love and I'm not gonna hesitate to rub it in." He says with an even look on his face that makes me gulp. He's not lying when he says he knows me. We met when I was fifteen and we went to the same high school. He lived with Mila and Victor, though ironically, I didn't meet either of them until I auditioned to join the band. He was the only one who didn't treat me different when shit hit the fan and I moved in with Minako. Even Phichit didn't know what to say at first, but after seeing Yurio's tough love, he adjusted quickly. Yurio have pretty similar baggage that's made us close, but he's a lot colder because of it. Maybe it's because he was so young when everything went downhill for him. 

He also reads people incredibly well. He's pretty quiet when he's not arguing or showing Phichit cat videos, and he's always watching people. Which is why him saying that worries me. 

My phone vibrates and I realize I haven't checked it all day. I'm surprised they even remembered to grab it while kidnapping me. I look down to see three text messages.

 

From Minako- Happy Birthday Sunshine. Sorry I can't be there, but I'll try to get out to see you soon. Don't drink to much and tell me all the details tomorrow!

From Guang Hong- Hey, Leo and I are coming out tonight to see you! Happy Birthday bud!

From Victor- Heyy, I got u a present, but I figured I'd wait til after ur bday weed to give it to u. 

 

"Go see Victor. I think you're gonna like the gift he gives you." He says with a small smile and I nod.

"Okay, wanna come with me?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"No, I'm gonna stay up here for while." He says, looking off the roof. It is a beautiful view. We're in Arizona and after the city line ends, you see suburbs and deserts, which make for an interesting view. I head over to the door, unlock it before leaving the key for Yurio, and head downstairs.

I shoot Victor a text just to meet in my room and head there, setting my bag down and sitting on my bed, scrolling through my phone. I have 20 Facebook notifications, 99+ Twitter notifications, and about the same for Instagram. This year has been a whirlwind honestly. As soon at our album was released, it was being played on the radio. We made our way up the charts, we all quit or took a break from our jobs/school so we cold focus on the band. It's funny too, since rock bands aren't normally as popular nowadays. Maybe it's because we're closer to soft rock or maybe it's just because we're young too, I'm not sure, but we made it big in a shockingly short period of time.

There's a knock on the door, making me laugh considering yesterday.

"Come in." I say and Victor comes in holding something behind his back. He comes up to me and stands in front of me, smiling almost shyly.

"Happy Birthday he says and hands me a mini trash can with the words "Let's get trashed" written on it. On the inside, it's overflowing with alcohol, there are probably about 10 mini shot bottles and two large bottles, one with whipped cream vodka and one with tequila. I chuckle and look up at Victor.

"Thank you, this is great." I say and he flushes and looks to the side.

"Look underneath the alcohol." He says and I look down at the bucket. It is pretty tall to only be hiding alcohol. I take out the two large bottle and see leather and...

"Is this the jacket..." I start and he nods.

"I believe it was New Year's Eve last year, your audition was a bar gig with us. Yurio gave you and Phichit the demo a week in advance and you learned it all." He says and I pull the jacket out, not caring as the bottles clink to the bottom.

"You got wasted right after that show and I babysat you in the bar. You made out with Chris at midnight, then proceeded to critique each other's performance." I remind him and he smiles.

"Then you took me to that 24 hour diner and basically force fed me a burger. I sobered up and we actually started talking." He says with a fond smile and I chuckle.

"Then on the way back to my apartment, you gave me your jacket cause I got cold."

"Then I crashed on your couch."  He finishes the story and I smile.

"I'm shocked you remember than night." I admit honestly. He scoffs.

"How could I forget the night I met you?" He says and I look down, cheek flushing.

"Just me?" I question him, raising an eyebrow and forcing myself to make eye contact because this man somehow just makes me weak. He laughs softly.

"Phichit too, but he wasn't really all that relevant to me that night."

"You forced him to make out with Mila and then they started dating the next day." I tell him and his face goes blank.

"Yeah, that's probably the blurry part of the night." He says and I chuckle. There are other part we're still not mentioning that I know he remembers. Like how when we got back to my apartment, we drank whipped cream vodka mixed with orange soda, the same brand he bought for the bucket. Actually, all the alcohol in there are kinds from various bar nights. Then there was us talking until 5 am, debating on bands and artist and just meaningless shit like that. And then him stopping me before going to my room and kissing my cheek, wishing me a Happy New Year, although, I doubt he remembers that part.

The alcohol details alone are surprising, but the jacket is...

"Victor, this is amazing. Thank you." I say and get up, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him into a hug. His instantly wrap around my waist and he lets out a sigh.

"It's nothing." He says quietly and I hear the door open, making me break the hug.

"Yuuri!" Guang Hong says as he comes in, walking straight to me and maybe I should remember to start locking my door. Leo follows in after and smiles.

"Ay, there's the birthday boy!" He says as Guang hugs me. Leo hugs me after and I look to Victor who looks confused.

"Oh, Victor, this is Leo and Guang Hong. I went to high school with Leo and introduced him to Guang in college." I tell him and he raises an eyebrow and I remember that I told him yesterday about how Leo and I used to date. I wasn't lying when I said we're still friends. In fact, I'd argue that I'm closer with Guang nowadays than Leo, but that just because Guang is actually the sweetest boy in existence.

"It's good to meet you. I'm Victor Nikiforov." He says, extending a hand and Guang just walks up and hugs him instead of taking his hand.

"A friend of Yuuri and Phichit is a friend of mine." He says with a smile and honestly bless this boy. Victor smiles and hesitantly hugs the boy back. After they break, Leo walks up and shakes Victor's hand.

"It's good to meet you. You're Yurio's older brother, right?" Leo ask and Victor chuckles.

"Is that what he calls me? I guess it's fitting." He says and I smile. There's not much I know about Victor's past, but I know Yurio was orphaned young and was adopted by Mila's family along with Victor, though I'm not sure what happened to Victor'a parents. When Victor was 18, though, Mila's parents kicked all three of them out. They moved from Russia to Los Angeles and Victor became a registered nurse in three years. He worked so much, he says he neglected spending time with Yurio until he asked Victor to teach him keyboard. Then the demo happened then the band and here we are now.

_Oh, and apparently he ice skated sometime in there._

His smile is full at hearing that Yurio called him his brother, although it really is fitting. Victor is the doting other brother and Yurio is the angsty younger one.

Leo smiles at Victor before nodding to me. "We'all catch you later, Yuuri. Don't get too drunk tonight." He says and I roll my eyes.

"You too. I don't wanna see you two dry humping in public." I kid and Guang blushes.

"It was one time!" He says and I almost feel bad for teasing him before he smirks. "And we weren't nearly as bad at you were with..."

"We'll see you later." He says, looking at Guang who's mouth forms an "o" of understanding. Geez, let's see how many time people bring up my ex today. The head out with one more wave and close the door behind them. 

"They seem nice. Isn't that the first date guy?" Victor asks and I nod.

"Good friend, kind of glad it didn't work out though." I admit. Leo is sweet, but we weren't right for each other. I'm glad I could match him with Guang Hong; they're honestly perfect for each other. They're both mellow and calm people, but Leo is outgoing while Guang is on he shyer side. They even each other out well.

"So, I should probably get going too. I'll see you at the show, okay?" Victor says and I nod.

"Thank you so much, Victor. This was really sweet. I can't believe you remembered all of that." I say and he smiles and leans down and kisses my cheek.

"Of course I did." He tells me in a hushed voice. He walks out of the room and as the door closes, I flop on my bed.

It's not a secret I'm attracted to Victor. In fact, he's the most attractive man I have ever met. Ever. No exaggeration. Like, if he had walked in two seconds earlier yesterday, he would've heard me moan his name. There's just something about him that I find so fucking hot, ever since I first met him.

It's like there's two side to him; there's this suave, calm, and collected guy that can turn my brain to mush, then there's this sweet guy who gives me his jacket and the exact kind of vodka from the night we first met. 

Honestly speaking here, I have never wanted a man more. That part of the other do-not-think-about reason I stopped having casual sex. I couldn't want another partner more than I want him.

I realize how this sounds, but Yurio is still wrong. I don't want a relationship, even with him. I can't do that again. I know how relationships end and I'm not doing that again.

I honestly just want him to kiss something other than my cheek.

I grin, cheeks flushing as I bury my head in my pillow.

_Although it is sweet he remembered._

 

 

* * *

  

 

"Great show tonight." Guang says, head on my shoulder. He's already said that to me twice tonight and he's already taken four shots. I've had two and I'm feeling nothing yet. I poke Leo who's staring lovingly at his husband.

"How did _you_ get _him_?" I ask and he shrugs.

"I don't know man." He says and Otabeck chuckles, sipping a beer.

"Didn't you two used to fuck?" He asks me and I nod.

"Yeah, but do you see this wonderful creature?" I ask him, leaning towards Otabeck who just smirks, rolling his chocolate eyes.

"But have you seen mine?" He counters and I scrunch my nose, looking over to Yurio. He's much shorter than Otabeck and I and much frailer. Don't get me wrong, he's very cute with his big green eyes and shoulder length blonde hair, but... 

"But he's so mean."

"I'm right here, Pig!"

"See?" I turn back to Otabeck who chuckles and kisses Yurio's cheek. Yurio summers down and brings his hand to trace the line of Otabeck's black undercut, small smile on his face. It's still funny to me to see him like this. He's completely weak for Otabeck, kind of like Phichit is for Mila, who are both making out across the booth from us. Chris and Victor come back to the table and Victor leans over the table.

"Emil's here." He whispers and Yurio stiffens.

"Why is that fucker here?" He asks and I raise an eyebrow.

"Who..."

"Remember the college guy Yurio dated his sophomore year?" Otabeck tells me and it clicks in my head.

"Oh shit, yeah. He's here?" I ask and Victor nods, smile looking a bit sinister.

"He better leave you alone or..."

"I can handle it, Victor." He says, eyes narrow, but it's not directed towards Victor. Emil cheated on Yurio with a guy at his school. He was devastated. None of us got to meet him during the relationship, so I honestly don't know what he looks like or how to spot him. I leave it to Victor and Yurio as Phichit and Mila finally stop making out.

"Yuuri, here, take my card and go get us all drinks. Then we're dancing." He says and I roll my eyes, looking around to make sure everyone has a shot glass. I take Phichit's card and go up to the counter, sighing as the bartender checks me out.

"And what can I do for the handsome boy?" He asks and I point to a half empty bottle of tequila.

"I'm taking that off your hands." I say and he smirks.

"That'll be 22 dollars." He says and I shake my head.

"That's a fifth, not a half gal, and it's been drank from. The market value of that is about 10 dollars, even less when you consider buying in bulk." I say and his eyes widen.

"Shit, you know your stuff." He says and I roll my eyes.

"It's my birthday and I'm not gonna be swindled." I say and he shrugs.

"10 dollars it is." He says and rings me up. My second job was as a bartender and it come in handy more than I thought it would. I take the bottle and he grins. "Happy Birthday!" The bartender offers and I give him a small awkward smile which he graciously takes. I turn back to the table and walk over to see my band mates staring at me in disbelief.

"What the hell? He was super hot!" Phichit says as I hand him back his card and roll my eyes.

"Doesn't mean I want to bang him." I rebut and he groans.

"You need to get laid, Yuuri." Yurio says and Mila hums. I turn to Victor for support, but he just shrugs.

"When was the last time you got laid?" He asks and I groan.

"That's totally besides the point. And what about you?" I fight him and he continues to look unfazed.

"I slept with a guy four months ago and just wasn't feeling it. Haven't wanted a random hookup since then." He explains and pours himself a shot. I put my arm out in explanation.

"See? It's not worth it."

"I never said that. He was just a really boring bottom. I've seen hotter asses on accident." He says and I shift in my seat. _Don't bring that up now, dammit._

"Anyways, who said I want to sleep with anyone?" I offer to change the subject and even Otabeck laughs.

"It's your 21st birthday. Find someone to sleep with." He says and I resign. They don't have to know if I do or not. I know Phichit slid a condom into my pocket before we left the hotel, but that doesn't mean I have to use it. But maybe it is time to think about it again. I mean, I just have to find a guy attractive enough to get me off really. That's all that it would take to get all of them off my back. 

"Let's go dance?" Phichit says and I pound down my drink down and get up. You know what? Fuck it. We all go to the dance floor and as normal, it takes me awhile to actually dance. What can I say? I'm awkward and despite being a musician, I don't think of myself as a great dancer.

A guy with light brown hair and stubble comes up to me and smiles.

"Let me get you a drink." He says and I shamelessly look him up and down. I mean, he's not bad looking. Not at all, actually, he seems rather fit and his eyes are a sky blue that really work wonders.

"Sure." I say and walk with him to the bar. We sit and he smirks at me.

"Whiskey?"

"Let's go with gin." I say, deciding to change from tequila. He raises an eyebrow, but orders a drink anyways. He props his head on his fist and turns towards me.

"So, what's a cute thing like you doing here alone?" He asks and I almost roll my eyes. _He's lucky he's cute._

"Um, it's my birthday. My friends brought me." I tell him the short and he nods.

"And what do you want to do tonight?" He asks and I smirk.

"You tell me." I say, taking my shot as the bartender brings it over, looking rather downtrodden. The man chuckles.

"Wow, you're not as innocent as you look." He says and I stand up.

"Why don't we test that on the dance floor?" I ask and he's up in a millisecond.

Now, don't get me wrong, I've got my act down good, I'm not nearly as interested as I'm making it seem. I dance because a.) I need to see if he can move and b.) I'm not a very confident person for a long period of time, so if he's just grinding on my ass, I don't have to see his face.

His hands find my hips once we're not he dance floor as the alcohol starts to kick in a bit. I'm tipsy, but I'm sober enough to back out if I want to. I push back on him and he awkward jolts forward. Shit, does he even know how to roll his hips?

I'm surprised when a new pair of hands are suddenly on my hips just as I'm trying to figure out the way he moves, pulling me away from the guy and onto them. I'm about to turn around and punch the guy when I hear him whisper in my ear.

"That's Emil." Victor tells me and flips me around so we're grinding front-to-front. "Go with it until he leaves. He's probably trying to use you to get to Yurio." He says in my ear and I nod.

"Thanks." I say, ignoring the slight sting at that knowledge. I move closer to Victor, rolling my hips onto him and I don't miss his slight groan and I'm angry at myself when it gives me an idea. I shift enough so I can roll my crotch onto his thigh, making him eye me curiously. I just bite my lip awkwardly, a little nervous that he seems a bit confused, but I notice something that he obviously hasn't. The fact that we're both hard. His hands slip to my ass and he raises an eyebrow as a sort of challenge that I quickly accept.

I grind myself into his thigh to the beat of the music, letting my own thigh teasingly brush against his cock. After a particularly good grind, I let out a moan and I feel his dick twitch against my leg. Our hips start to roll together in a fluid motion and _geez_ , he knows what he's doing.

I should want to stop.

I continue to grind on him, my head becoming more sober yet at the same time, more drunk on him. His movements are intoxicating as he swings me back and then slowly back to him so our faces are inches apart. 

I should want to leave.

We're both just staring at each other, pressed together, and I wonder if he wants this as much as I do. My eyes flicker to his lips, but even like this, I know better than to kiss him in public. I can't believe we've gone this far, but we're both breathing heavily, both hard, and it clicks in that moment.

I _want_  him.

This is Victor, the King of One-Night Stands. If this happens, even just once, we can both forget it ever happened, and for the first time, I see pure lust in Victor's eyes.

He wants me too.

I lean in so my mouth is pressed to his ear and say what I've been wanting to say since the first night I met him. 

"Let's get out of here."


	3. Just a Crush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys got me to 500 hits in 2 chapters, holy shit. Thank you all for reading and I hope you like it so far.
> 
> So here's the conclusion to last week's sexual tension, a few days early, though I can't promise I'm good at writing smut. I'll be sure to post by next Sunday, but probably sooner. Thank you and I hope you like it!
> 
> NSFW warning. Also, Yuuri has some scars, so that may be a trigger. Just a warning.

Victor's POV

 

After taking an uber back to the hotel, Yuuri comes to my room with me, seemingly sober, but he seems different. This seems different. Every time our hands brush, a shiver goes down my spine. Every time he looks at me, I nearly choke.

I've been so attracted to Yuuri for what feels like forever now that knowing he's attracted to me in the slightest is earth-shaking. Maybe it's the alcohol or maybe it just him, but my mind is in a fog. I sigh, looking at him as he walks over to me.

"Well, you can sleep on the couch or something since Phichit and Mila are probably going back to your room and..."

"Victor?" He draws out my name as he leans in close and even in my drunken state of mind, I know this isn't normal.

"What?" I ask and his face morphs into probably the sexiest smirk I've ever seen.

"I think you should fuck me." He whispers and my eyes widen as my blood shoots straight back to my dick.

_Well, I’m sober now._

This is a bad idea. This is _such_ a bad idea. This is...

"I've been thinking it for awhile. I've always thought you were sexy, and when you walked in yesterday, I was thinking about you. Fantasizing about you. You fucking me so hard that I can feel it when we perform the next day." He tell me and my cock twitches.

"Yuuri..."

"I won't regret it. It isn't just me being drunk I'm sober right now and I want you." He says and every ounce of self-control I have left goes out the window at that. I grab his hips and pull them to mine like they had been before as my lips finally meet him. It's sloppy and horny and so in the moment that I can't even believe this is happening. My tongue is instantly in his mouth and he just sucks on it before pushing back against me. He tastes faintly like tea and sugar which is ironic since he last drank alcohol. There's something else too that's just so specifically _Yuuri_.

_This is a bad idea._

My lips move to his neck, suckling a spot where I know people will see, but I can't bring myself to care.

_This is such a bad idea._

He moans and moves us over to the bed, pushing me down and pulling off his shirt.

_He doesn't want more than this._

That thought makes me pause as he looks at me with a smirk before taking a condom out of his pocket and throwing it on the bed.

This is just sex to Yuuri. He's said he's attracted to me, but that's all he's said. I sit up and look at him as he unbuttons his pants. Yuuri doesn't do relationships, so does he really want a one-night stand? Is that all this is?

He drops his pants and underwear and I just stare at him. He's naked, completely exposed and I can't help but be surprised. He's fit, not more than I thought but in a different was. He's toned and his waist is small, but his hips are wider, and his thighs are thick and _shit_. Then there are things I didn't expect when I had thought about this before, because trust me, I have. Like, there are stretch marks on his hips and inner thighs. There are thin cuts on his outer thighs that don't look natural or accidental. There he's mostly shaven with a bit of razor burn by his pelvis. And there's one large scar on his shoulder that I've never seen, probably because he only wears long sleeves or t-shirts and I can't help but just stare at all of his. He's beautiful, and I mean that. I'm getting to see parts of Yuuri that I never thought I'd ever see before and suddenly, I don't care what happens after this. As long as I see Yuuri like this now, open just for me, it's enough.

He moves on the bed and straddles me, taking my face in his hands.

"You okay?" He asks, face becoming worried and I swallow.

"You're so beautiful." Is all my short-circuited mind could produce. He flushes and looks away.

"Shut up and kiss me." He says and it doesn't take much for me to comply. We're making out as he's working on my belt, undoing it and shoving my pants to the ground with the help of me lifting my hips. I pull my shirt off and I'm left in my underwear.

"Are we doing foreplay or...? I ask and he moans in my ear.

"I'd suck you off, but I don't think I'm gonna last long tonight and I really need you to fuck me." He tells me and I reach to grab lotion from my table and slick up my fingers.

"Fuck, Yuuri." I whisper, pushing a finger into him and watching as he throws his head back and groans. He pushes his hips back on my finger, blushing as he looks up at me.

"Oh fuck." He moans and I almost moan with him. I add a second finger and he sighs.

"Shit, oh my god." He says, leaning his forehead on mine and I struggle to keep my fingers moving at a steady pace. He's so fucking close to me, his eyes are boring into mine and curl my fingers before I say something I'll regret and he screams.

"O-oh yes!" He shouts and I feel my cock twitch and wow, I'm closer than I thought I was. I put in a third finger and stretch him out quickly, hitting his prostate a few times just for that reaction before he growls.

"I need you in me." He tells me and while I want that more than anything right now, I decide to let this play out.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you." I tease and hit his prostate again and he shrieks.

"Victor, please." He moans and fuck, I really like the way my name sounds coming from him. 

I realize in that moment, why rush this? I'm still sitting upright at the edge of my bed and he's moaning in my lap. I stand up and lay him down on the bed then move over him.

"How about I slow this down?" I say with a smirk and rather than arguing, he just gulps. I kiss his lips slowly the time, barely even touching his and he sighs. Our lips move slowly against each other and his hands go to my hair, running his fingers through the long parts. I leave from his lips to his jaw, stopping where his jaw meets his neck after he lets out a small whimper. I suck on the spot until he's all but shaking, the move down. I move down the middle of his chest, my hands going to play with his nipples and he groans a bit, but it's not as much of a reaction as I was expecting. I kiss, leaving a trail of red marks behind, until I reach his dick, standing tall. Yuuri isn't huge, but he's certainly not small. He's wider than he is longer and very sensitive, I notice as I suck on his head. "Quit teasing." His voice is desperate as hands in my hair tighten and I lick his shaft. But then I move my tongue a bit lower and he lets out the most lewd noise I've ever heard.

_So, I guess he likes rimming then._

I lick over his hole and he moans above me, pressing my head closer to him. "Yes, Victor..." He sighs and honestly, the goal right now is to get to to say my name like that as many times as possible tonight. I flick at him rim until he basically begging before sticking my tongue in. In and out and he just cries out above me. He tastes faintly like lotion and soap 

"If you k-keep do-ing that, I-I'm gonna..." He moans and I take my tongue out and push myself up so I'm above him. He wraps his legs around my waist and his arms around my neck. His chest is pounding heavily and his mouth is hanging open. I push the hair out of his face and he sighs.

"Victor, please fuck me." He says and I give in. I move to grab the condom and he grabs my hand. "Have you been tested since you last had sex?" He asks and I nod.

"I'm clean, why?" I ask stupidly and bites his lip, almost seeming a bit nervous.

"Cum in me." He says and I groan before leaning down to kiss him. I grab the lotion and put a generous amount in my hand and lube up my cock. I push in and he moans against my lips. I slowly push in until I bottom out and then I stop, our mouth slotted together as he adjusts to me. After awhile, he starts rolling his hips and I start pulling out before thrusting in.

"Oh fuck!" He shouts as I speed up my thrusts. He lets out small noises every time I thrust, switching angles until he's suddenly screaming. "Yes Victor! O-oh fuck!" He says and I know I found the right spot. With no warning, he cums on his chest and I stop.

I'm still in him, rock hard as he takes deep breaths and im a bit surprised I'm not cumming from the sigh under me. Cum paints his heaving chest and his eyes are closed in ecstasy. His hair is pushed back and his amber eyes are dilated as he opens them.

"Keep going." He tells me and my eyes widen.

"You just came, I can finish my-"

"No, I have a fast recovery time. Just keep going." He says and grinds down on me, making us both grown and his cock grow half hard again.

_Well shit, that is fast._

I start trusting again, him pushing against me and moaning. His eyes are closed as he lets out whimpers at the over stimulation. I know I'm gonna cum soon, so I wrap my hand around his rapidly hardening cock, jerking him out as I fuck into him. He cries out my name and wraps his arms around my neck, pulling me down to smash him lips on mine.

He's saying things against my lips, talking about how big I am and how he's gonna cum again soon, but what really does it is when he moans my name and cuts a second time. I cum in him, sitting there for a moment before realizing what I've done. I'm pull away to apologize, but he just kisses me and I resign, falling next to him on the bed, pulling out of him and making out with him. It could be anywhere from five minutes to thirty minutes before he pulls away, breathing heavy with a tired smile on his face.

"We have to do that again." He sighs and I raise an eyebrow.

"Are we making this a thing?" I ask, leaving the question open for him to interpret.

"I know I want to, do you?" He asks, rolling over to face me and my heart stops.

_Does he really mean this?_

"You're not drunk?" I ask and he chuckles.

"You know how much I have to drink to get drunk." He says and I tilt my head up to him.

"Then why..."

"I told you, I think you're really sexy and I know you never get laid either. So, I figured we could have good sex and cuddle. You've already grinded on me on stage, might as well finish." He says and I scoff.

"We were drunk."

"And we weren't tonight, but if you want to, we can just call it that and forget it." He says with a shrug. "Consider it a business arrangement. We make music and fuck." He says and I think for a moment. I mean, it pretty obvious I like him.  He's obviously a good fuck, but would this make things weird? I have feelings for him and he obviously isn’t looking for anything emotional.

I look at him with his big amber eyes and realized I'm fucked either way, so I might as well enjoy it.

"Yeah, sure." I say and flip us so I'm back on top of him. "I don't know about you, but I'm feeling a round two." I say and kiss at his neck. He moans as his fingers thread into my hair and I know it's going to be a long night. But then he pushed me off of him and flips us over so he's on top of me.

"We're gonna go my pace then." He says, leaning so his lips brush on mine as he talks. "You tease me, I'll tease you back." He says as he rubs his butt against my dick that is suddenly standing tall again. He sighs and moans, grinding against me and just putting on a fucking show with his eyes closed and head thrown back. I have no idea where this confidence comes from, but I can't help but be enraptured looking at him. He opens his eyes and stops, looking down at me and biting his lip. The mood shifts as he take a breath and looks down at my chest before he smiles, almost childlike, and I have no idea what to think of the changes in demeanor, but it's adorable.

"Let's move to the shower." He says and I just nod as he gets up, almost stumbling when he his the ground and I chuckle.

"Having trouble?" I ask and he blushes.

"Maybe a bit." He admits and I stand up, picking him up by his legs and carrying him, his legs wrapping around my waist. He kisses me, a bit softer than the other times as he sighs. "I'm tired, but I really wanna go another round." He says and I chuckle.

"Then I have a better idea." I say and take him to the shower. I turn on the water and pin him against the bathroom wall, kissing at his neck as the water heats up. He sighs, one hand going to my hair and keeping my head in place. Once the water is warm, I take him in the shower and set him down before turning his hims around and pushing him against the wall.

I grab the soap and slick up my fingers, figuring I can kill two birds with one stone. I push two fingers into him and start scissoring my fingers, watching as cum and bubble come out of his hole. He moans as I clean him thoroughly, making sure he won't be uncomfortable the next day. I kiss at his shoulders once I deal him clean, pressing my fingers with the sole intention of hitting his prostate. It doesn't take long before he's screaming and cumming against the wall.

He turns around and kisses me, grinding his thigh against my dick. "Dammit Victor, you're considerate and good at fucking? This might be a good arrangement." He says against my lips as I moan. I honestly didn't even notice I was still hard until he started grinding on me, his cock hard again soon. 

I take both of us in my hand and pump us together, our groans and sighs mixing together with the sound of running water. Before long, we're both cumming and slumping against each other.

"Shit Yuuri." I breath and he chuckles.

"You too." He responds. I reach and grab the soap again, cleaning us both off quickly, turning the water colder once I realize that we're getting riled up again and neither of us want to do that again. By the time I turn off the water, Yuuri is basically falling asleep on me. 

"Yuuri."

"I told you I'm tired." He giggles sleepily. In a moment of a stupid decision, I throw him over my shoulder like Phichit did and he shouts.

"Victor!" He yells, laughing this time though and I hit his ass.

"Shut up we're going to bed." I say and he ruffles my hair. I get to the bed, not even bother to put clothes on either of us, and set him down. He crawls under the covers and I go to the other side and follow suite. He puts his head on my chest and sighs.

"This isn't going to make things weird, right?" He asks, looking up at me and I shake my head.

"We're fine, Yuuri." I tell him, but his face looks worried.

"You're one of my best friends, Victor, if us having sex ruins that then I'd rather just keep it to tonight." He tells me, face flushed and frowning and I realize that Yuuri and I care for each other in completely different ways, but they're also the same. We want to be in each other's lives, just in different ways.

If friends with benefits is the closest to a relationship I can get with him, then it's worth it.

I lean down and kiss him deeply, but not nearly as affectionately as I want to. He kissing back, our lips moving against each other, he nibbles my lips and I push my tongue into his mouth. 

Yuuri and I work well together. Not just in this way, but in everything. We write songs together, we planned tour together, hell, we've cooked a band dinner together. We're a good team, even now as we're kissing, working off each other's cues. I know this can work. I just have to know that all this is is friends having sex. If I can do that, then he's mine, even just for now.

I pull away and his eyes flicker open, sighing. His breath tickles my face as I smile at him.

"Trust me, nothing could ruin our friendship." I respond honestly and he smiles.

"Good." He finalizes and rests his head back down. He closes his eyes and lets out a breath. "Night Victor." He says and I kiss his forehead.

"Goodnight Yuuri." I whisper and he falls asleep as my heart speeds up, processing tonight.

_I kissed Yuuri._

_I fucked Yuuri._

_And now we're sleeping together._

I lay there, looking at the ceiling as Yuri's breath evens. 

I'm fucking one of my best friends. One of my best friends who's also my little brother's best friend. One of my best friends that I have feelings for.

_What the fuck am I doing?_

But I look down at him, his features gentle in a way that makes him look completely and utterly calm and realize I couldn't walk out if I tried. He nuzzles his head closer to me and mumbles something inaudible and my heart skips a beat. I've gone since I met the boy and he took care of me while I was waisted. Almost a year I've had a crush on him and now I can sleep with him with no strings attached; no commitment or chance of this ending out friendship badly. 

All I have to do is not let my feelings get the best of me.

_Wow, did I really just say that?_

Until him, I was a person who was never driven by emotion. Sure I love music and Mila and Yurio, but I always did what I needed. I worked for what I needed and never let my emotions get in the way. I could do it by myself and that was all there was to it. But now there's a boy sleeping on my chest that's showing me that that's not completely true.

_Wait, what am I saying?_

_This is just a crush. That's all it's ever been._

If this ends up being nothing but something for Yuuri to pass the time with, I'm okay with that. He's just my friend. He's just my friend I'm having sex with.

With that, I close my eyes and fall asleep, pulling him close. He tucks his head under my chin and I sigh.

_He's just my friend._

My mind starts to blur out and I let sleep pull me under.


	4. Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for starters I AM SHOOK. Thank you to everyone who's reading this! I'm hoping that you guys like this because wow, I was not expecting so much readership this fast. Thank you so much!
> 
> So, this chapter goes more into the band, including lyrics from one of the songs. I hope you guys like it and thank you so much for reading! Enjoy:)
> 
> (No I TOTALLY DIDN'T go back to chapter 2 to change Victor's text so that he's a shitty texter;) course not)

Yuri's POV

 

I wake up pressed close to Victor’s chest, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. I don’t regret my decision, not at all, but what am I supposed to do now? I’m up at probably 5 am and there’s no way…

His eyes flicker open, saving me from the decision of leaving or not.

A frown grows on his face and he moves one of his arms away, obviously sensing my discomfort. It’s not the fact that we fucked, it’s the “what now”. I assume he’s figured out I’m not looking for anything romantic, but I can’t be sure. I get up, letting out a short couch.

“I’ll grab my stuff and head out.” I say and his eyes widen slightly, but he nods. I quickly correct myself, feeling a little bad at the abrupt leaving. “I’m meeting Phichit for coffee at 7 and I need to shower. I’ll see you at rehearsal.” I offer a smile and he relaxes a little.

“I’ll see you there.” He assures and moves to get up, not bothering to put on clothes and fuck, he’s fucking cut. I mean, I knew he was, but seeing him right now in the morning light only shows that off more. Maybe Phichit can wait…

Don’t give yourself any ideas, Yuuri.

“Um, quick question.” Victor says as he puts on a pair of briefs. “Do we tell the others?” He asks and I shrug, taking the opportunity to clarify.

“I mean, we’re only having sex. It’s not like we’re dating.” I justify and he pauses before nodding and walking over to me.

“I’m just saying, it’s gonna be really hard to keep my hands off of you.” He whispers in my ear as he grabs my hips, pulling me close and shit, I’m already half hard. I pull away, walking to the door and swallowing thickly.

“I have to meet Phichit or he will hunt me down. I just turned twenty-one, I’m supposed to be hung over as fuck.” I say and he chuckles.

“No, you just have a limp.” He points out and honestly, I hadn’t even noticed. I guess I was too caught up in everything to notice, but my ass does hurt like a bitch.

“That’s gonna be hard to hide.” I mutter and chuckles, moving one hand to the doorframe so he leaning over to me, but not in a constricting way.

“So, we keeping this hidden?” He asks, honestly curious and I nod.

“I just think we should keep other people out of this. People meddle and it ruins things. Plus, if they hint on stage, it’s a publicity thing and then we have to deal with Chris. And honestly, I’d rather this just be a you and me thing.” I admit, my hand moving to the back of his neck. “You’re sure you’re okay with this, though? Just us fucking?” I allow him to back out. I mean, he is older than me. Maybe he’s only looking for something serious. But his arms move and he wraps them around my waist, showing that yes, I am still half hard and he is too.

“I think I’m okay with “just us fucking” right now, if you’re game?” He murmurs to me and shit, his morning voice is fucking sexy and I’m such a sucker for morning sex.

Phichit can wait.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Two hours, four orgasms, a shower, and several more hickies later, I limp into the coffee shop I told Phichit I’d meet him at. His eyes widen as he notices instantly. Of course he notices I can’t walk. He notices everything.

“You finally got laid.” He declares as I sit across from him, handing me a green tea he already got me. I thank him and take a sip before broaching the subject.

“Yeah, there was a hot guy at the club. He’s good at what he does.” I tell him and his eyebrows furrow.

“But you left with Victor.” He says and it’s everything in me not to spit up my tea. I remain composed though. Lying to Phichit is damn hard, but I can do it. I’ve had years of practice.

“I puked. He came outside with me. I only stayed for about twenty minutes after that. Brushed my teeth, danced, and found a semi-clean, hot guy to sleep with.” I tell him and he eyes me skeptically.

“What about Victor?” He asks and I shrug.

“After making me brush my teeth, I lost him. Figured he found someone to sleep with.” I pinned on that last part, remembering the fact I left a hickey on his collarbone and if he wears a v neck, it’s in plain sight.

“So who was the guy?”

“Tall, blonde, and bearded. Don’t remember a name.” I quickly answer and his eyes narrow, obviously seeing he can’t fight me on this. I thought of everything. Victor and I did decide in the end not to tell anyone. Chris already almost blew a shitfit when Mila and Phichit started dating. Don’t get me wrong, he loves them together, but we have enough media attention that it became a huge ass deal.

That's another thing I worry about. The moment that it leaks out, it not only affects this weird thing we have going, but it affects our friendship and that scares me more than I like to think about. I care about Victor, and I want to keep our friendship and our sex life separated. The only way they would combine is to be a love life and like hell that's ever gonna happen.

"I don't get it. You are Victor were grinding and just about to make out." He says and I flush. Thing did get pretty... heated when we were still at the bar. I glance at the pale blue walls of the coffee shop, thinking in my head what an awful idea that was. Sure, it's pretty, but blue makes you _less_ hungry.

"We're just not like that." I don't want to lie to Phichit. In fact, a large part of me wants to tells him. Can I just... No. I have to hold off until this is more normal. In two weeks, if it's still happening, I'll tell him. 

"Was he at least good?" Phichit asks and I nod, grinning.

"Dude, he was so good. He fucked me twice this morning alone." I tell him and his eyes widen.

"Geez, that's perfect for you. You love morning sex." He says and I chuckle.

"Oh yeah." I say and he smiles, relaxing and I know I'm good for now. We talk for a few hours about Mila and the band and unbeknown to him, Victor, and I wonder if he would be mad if he knew I was casually sleeping with a guy in the band. Honestly, he may be not upset. 

Phichit and I dreamed of being in a band when we were young. I never thought it would happen, but he was determined. When Yurio mentioned his band, Phichit begged him for an audition. He played guitar and I knew guitar and bass and it turned out they needed a guitarist and a bassist. Our audition jig happened and we haven't gone back since.

Now he's dating one of his bandmates. They've been dating for almost a year now and they're actually perfect together. She's more of a badass and he's the sweet boyfriend. 

I think about what Yurio and Victor have said about Mila. She's never had a problem getting guys, but she's had problems keeping them, which I find funny. Phichit would never willingly let her go. 

 

 

* * *

 

  

Every band has a number one hit. Their songs that embodies their sound as a band. Ours is actually a song Victor and Mila wrote after the demo. It was a love song, since our album prior lacked one. It's not really a normal love song though. I guess it's more of a sex song. Mila wrote the lyrics at the start of her and Phichit's relationship, and Victor did all the music to it. It's funny that Victor is the singer and rhythm guitar. Many people view frontmen as just eye-candy, but Victor is musically gifted. We started writing songs for the next album together and he always does something that shocks me. Honestly, that's probably another reason we're so popular; our music is so different.

 

If you want me let me know,

We don't have to take it slow,

Just show me where to go,

You're the one I want to hold,

 

And there's another thing. As a band, we just work well. We have chemistry as musicians and friends. All the guitars work off one another, I work off the drums, and Yurio works off of everyone, just feeling the moment. That's why I love performing. We really work together as one.

  

Tonight it's you and me so forget about the rest,

I can feel theres something there that brings a pounding to my chest.

 

Then there's Victor. I could watch Victor sing for hours. He manages to lose himself in the moment yet keep the audience watching. Right now he's actually singing to me, looking over and dancing as he makes his way over, not needing his guitar for this song and I roll my eyes. He does this kind of thing a lot where he just starts dancing with people while they're doing their own thing. 

 

I'm sinking through the surface and I'm trying to find,

A way to kindle this so I can make you mine,

I'm not looking for just ecstasy,

I want to get you close to me.

 

He winks at me and goes back to the mic stand and finishes the last chorus, finishing up the concert and my heart slams in my chest as he glances.

 

I know if you just let me start,

I'll end up winning over your heart,

I don't want to have to wait,

Not when you have those eyes that fascinate me.

 

We take our bows and make our way off stage, Otabeck patting me on the back.

"Good solo tonight." He says and I smile. Otabeck is our third guitarist and Yurio's boyfriend. I smile at him.

"Thanks Ota. You did well too." I tell him and he flushes and gives a half smile. He's a pretty reserved guy, but when he's comfortable, you realize he's just shy rather than standoffish. Phichit comes running over, yelling as loud as he can. 

"Catch me Becky!" He says and jumps into an unfazed Otabeck's arm. He just holds onto Phichit and shrugs.

"Anyways, so when do you think the next song will be finished?" He asks and Phichit makes himself comfortable, being held bridal style. I can't tell you how this started, but it's become regular at this point.

"Victor and I set a deadline for next Friday, so we should be really to perform it by the following Tuesday." I tell him and he smiles.

"Cool." He says and I turn to the table to grab my phone, seeing a text from Victor on it.

 

From Victor- U cumming 2nite?

 

I look up at him as he walks by and he just barely grabs my ass. He walks away with a wink and I type out my response quick, cheeks flushing dark red.

 

To Victor- I'm pretty sure we're both cumming tonight.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Tonight, Victor and I did a lot less than we did this morning or the night before. Half of the night is spent making out and giving each other hand jobs. After a lot of edging and a shower, we're just sitting at the couch, him watching TV and me plucking at my guitar. It's actually nice how normal it feels after that, despite the fact I'm just wearing one of his button ups and he's only wearing underwear. I play random tabs, my calloused fingers unfeeling to the strings and he turns to me.

"What time are we leaving tomorrow?" He asks and look up at him, not stopping my fingering.

"3am." 

"As in two hours?" He asks and I shrug.

"Yeah. I mean, isn't that what Chris said?" I ask and he stops.

"Yeah, I suppose. I'm just happy we're doing two shows in almost every town. I don't know what I'd do if I lived on the bus." He says and I shrug.

"I kind of like it. At least the constant traveling is fun, even if the beds suck." I say and he takes my guitar out of my hands and gently sets it down.

"Yeah, but I think I like being able to do this without the others around." He says and crawls over and sits between my legs. He leans forward and kisses me, his hands moving to my hips and...

"Victor!" Mila yells as she knocks on the door and he jolts to his feet.

"I'm changing!" He yells and I pull off the shirt I'm wearing, running to his bed and pulling on my own shirt over my head as she groans.

"I've seen you naked before!" She says and I call out this time.

"He's in the bathroom because I'm here!" I say and Victor's eyes widen and I realize my wording sounds bad too. "He didn't want to change in front of me." I correct myself as I pull on my pants and underwear. Victor runs towards the door and opens it after I sit down, zipping my pants.

"Hey!" He says, leaning against the door and I look up to see him only wearing underwear and sweat pants, ass towards me. Mila comes in and makes a B-line to me and sits next to me, staring at me intently and I'm nervous suddenly. I raise an eyebrow and she groans.

"Yuuri, I need your help." She says and flops against the back of the couch. Good, she doesn't know.

"Yeah, what's up?" I ask and her face turns beet red. She stands up.

"This is stupid." She says, but Victor is right next to her when she stands.

"No, it's not, what's up?" He stops her from leaving and she groans.

"Listen, I'm in love with Phichit." She says and neither of us flinch. 

"Well yeah, and he feels the same, so what's the problem?" I ask and have sighs, looking down and I fine myself concerned. She's normally so much more confident.

"I'm gonna propose to him." She tells us and that gets a reaction from us. I'm on my feet in a second and Victor is hugging her. 

"That's awesome!" He exclaims and Mila relaxes as I nod in agreement. 

"So what's the plan then?" I ask and she smiles at me.

"I was hoping you'd help me plan it. You would know better than..."

"Concert." I interrupt because really, it's the only thing Phichit would want. For Mila to propose to him during a concert would be perfect.

"Okay. I'll do it when we get to Ohio. That way I have time to get a ring and everything." She says and I smile.

"I can help you with that." As weird as it may sound, with their relationship, it makes more sense for Mila to be proposing. She's older and started the relationship because Phichit for once in his life was too shy to go after something. She grins down at me and bounces on her feet.

"It's gonna be great!" She says and I nod. She thanks me quickly again and runs out of the room. Once the door is closed, I look at Victor. He's smiling warmly towards the door and part of me wonders if I'm doing the right thing. I know Victor is an idealistic guy, so the idea of love must really appeal to him. Who am I to take away his chance at a real connection.

I'm not given much time to ponder this as he walks over to me and puts his hand on my hip, the other wrapping further to grab my ass.

> "Now, where were we?" He whispers to me and I decide that if he wants that chance, he'll go and take it, but for right now, he's taking me.


	5. Today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I know a lot of these chapter have been very focused on the two of them, but I'll start to bring in the others more from here on out. I like a lot of characters in my stories, I just wanted to set Yuuri and Victor's dynamic because it's confusing as hell.
> 
> Also, I will be adding tags as I go because I'm going to have more triggers as I go. I will always be sure to add them in the notes as well!
> 
> And OMG THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH. I had no idea I could get over 1,000 hits in 4 chapters! Thank you all so much for reading and I hope you enjoy:)

Victor's POV

 

Of all the small things about touring, I think I'm starting to dislike the bus the most.

There are a lot of things about it I love, like how close the band is and the changing scenery; but sleeping on a bus is a different story. It's bumpy and rough and honestly Mila gets sick about twice a ride so it makes the whole thing unpleasant. We had a few shows in the past year that involved the bus, but now we have a full 3 months worth just for the United States.

I lay in bed, awoken again by the sound of Mila hurling in the bathroom. I sigh and get out of bed, grabbing my phone and climbing down from my top bunk. My feet hit the floor and I notice the only ones in bed are Yurio and Otabeck. They lay cuddled up to each other despite the two separate beds the have. They're above the sheets and only wearing underwear and I can't say I blame them. The bus is hot and now stinky as well with the smell of vomit.

I go past the curtain into the common room to see Yuuri and Phichit laying with their feet on opposite ends of the couch and their heads meeting in the middle. Phichit is on his phone and Yuuri is gripping a pillow to his stomach with headphones in, looking up. There are two cups of tea on the small sunken coffee table and the liquid is low enough it doesn't spill during bumps. Phichit looks up at me and smiles.

"Ay Victor, can't sleep either?" He asks and I nod. Yuuri moves so he's sitting up, acknowledging me with a small smile.

"Anyways, yeah, Mila is loud when she vomits." I say and check my phone.

 

From Yuuri- So, should we set some guidelines?

 

I raise an eyebrow when it says it was sent at 5 am. It's 9:30 am now. I sit on the couch as I answer.

 

To Yuuri- I thought we did tht alredy

 

He answers quickly and this has my head jerking up, where Yuuri is shyly eyeing me and Phichit fiddles unassumingly on his own phone.

 

From Yuuri- I mean bedroom guidelines.

 

He shrugs at me and I pound out an answer.

 

To Yuuri- um, can we do this l8r? I feel like this is a bit... unformal I guess.

 

My answer is met with an eye-roll and a sassy response.

 

From Yuuri- Yes, because fucking casually is so formal. But if you prefer that, that's no problem. And by the way, It's informal*

 

He answers and I smile as he stretches and settles back down, crossing his legs and holding a pillow and I stand, deciding it's late enough to get up but early enough to need coffee.

I look around the bus as the sun rises outside the window, stepping into the common area. I'd be lying if I said it was a bad bus. It has a kitchenette, and bathroom and shower, and three sets of bunk beds, although only one of them are occupied at the moment. The whole bus is a scheme of beige, navy, and tan, making it feel surprisingly homey.

"Sorry guys." She says and Phichit stands up, walking over and kissing her forehead. She smiles and leans into the touch, making Yuuri smiles. I know he's still excited about the news he heard earlier, and I can't say I'm not the same. Mila was never planning on marrying until she met Phichit and she told me she just knew that he was it. He was the one for her, and since then, she's let herself fall completely for him and he sure as hell fell with her.

"Can we lay down for a little while?" She asks him sweetly and Phichit smiles and kisses her nose. He nods to us in a farewell before retreating back to the bedroom. I look to Yuuri as I put in a k-cup and he sighs and smiles at me before standing and taking the cups, dumping them into the sink and taking out the soap to wash the cups. I take one out of his hand when he's done cleaning it and put it under the keurig for my coffee. I kiss his cheek and he gives a small smile, looking towards the curtain.

"Time and place, Victor." He whispers and I shrug.

"I've done it before." I point out and he gives me a pointed look.

"Just don't blur the line." He tells me and I nod, internally slapping myself.

_We're just friends. Don't even think differently._

He kisses my cheek and I turn to him raising an eyebrow in confusion. "We're just friends." He tells me and god do I not understand him, I think as he finishes cleaning the second mug. He sighs and I watch as his face shifts from happy to sad and I realize not for the first time that I may never fully understand him.

I take my coffee and sit down, curling up on the couch across from the one Phichit and Yuuri were sitting on and come to a second realization that this day may be weirder than expected.

 

   

* * *

 

 

"So what kind of guidelines are you thinking?" I ask and he shrugs. We just got back from the concert and honestly, I'm still pumped from it. It always takes me a bit of time to calm down after a concert, even an average one like this one. I try to not seem too jittery from that mixed with the conversation we're having.

Yuuri and my work relationship has barely changed, if anything, he seems more comfortable while working than just sitting with me now. When we take out lunch breaks, he normally just grabs something to-go with Yurio and we always come back to them just playing piano or guitar or even the drums. That's always been the case, minus our weekly meetings, so maybe I'm just now worrying about it for stupid reasons. This whole thing makes me confused as to where exactly I stand with Yuuri. We're friends who have sex, but we flirt and kiss each other's cheeks and we already planned where we're having our weekly lunch this week.

Maybe I'm just thinking too much. I mean, it's been three days and I'm already confused, but I know there's no way I'm backing out.

_We're friends. Just friends. Just keep remembering that._

"I don't know, where the line is draw between friends and benefits. Plus sex things, like what we like or don't like." He says and I gulp. And there you have it.

"Let's start with non-sex. Nothing on stage obviously." I say and he nods.

"Probably just not in public altogether." He says and I nod.

"When do we call it off?" I say and he bites his lower lip.

"When you want more. If you start wanting a relationship, then go find the person you want to be with." He says and that stings a bit, but I take note of his wording. Does he have no idea that I want him?

_He probably doesn't want me, though._

"Okay." I answer shortly and he nods.

"Now, do you prefer to top or bottom?" He asks with a slight flush and I pause before smirking.

"Top." I answer and he sighs.

"Good, cause I like to bottom. Though I can a be dominant bottom." He says with a smirk and I close my eyes.

"Don't turn me on while we're talking serious.' I say and he rolls his eyes.

"You're so horny." He sasses and I chuckle.

"You make me horny." I say and he smiles.

"Now, kinks." He says and I shake my head.

"Not now. I will pop a boner." I stress and he smirks before straddling me.

"Maybe that's the plan." He says and rolls his hips on mine. Right as he's leaning in to kiss me, there a knock on the door and he sighs.

"Geez, you're a busy man." He chuckles and dismounts me. I smile as he goes to the door and looks in the peephole, going up on his tip toes. He opens the door and smiles.

"Hey Yurio." He says with a smile and he walks in and goes to Yuuri's bag, takes out a condom, then leaves without a word. I cringe as Yuuri locks the door again.

"Now, where we're we?" He says and walks over to me, straddling my lap again when his phone rings. He chuckles, looking amused and defeated.

"I think that's Phichit. He's gonna make me go to the bar tonight." He tells me and I shrug.

"I'll come too." I say and he raises an eyebrow.

"You sure? When it's just Phichit who invites me, he normally gets sloppy drunk and ends up leaving me after an hour to have sex with Mila." He tells me and I hold back a shiver of disgust. I hate hearing about their sex lives, although I'm happier they have one rather than not.

But that does make it kind of easy for me to be out in public with Yuuri in a non-date way that we don't have to be completely platonic in. If Mila would actually be willing to go, then she'd have to be pretty drunk before she did anything in public. She's just that way and Phichit is the opposite. He's the most PDA person I've ever met, so if they're both shit faced, maybe Yuuri and I could have some PDA time.

I nod, my hands moving to his ass. "Tell him to bring Mila since you're bringing a friend. Maybe we can have a fun night." I say suggestively and he smirks.

"I like the way you think." He says, face flushed as he gets up, ruffling through his bag. He pulls out a packet of face wipes then pauses.

"Shit." He says and I stand up and walk over to him. He turn to me and bites his lip nervously.

"What's up?" I ask and he looks off to the side.

"Well... I-didn't-want-you-to-find-out-about-this-but-I-guess-you'd-find-out-anyways-I-have-insomnia." He says in one breath and stare at him, trying to figure out what he said.

"Did you say insomnia or chlamydia because we don't use condoms so I hope you don't have that." I say, half worried and half joking and he face palms.

"No, insomnia." He says and takes out a wipe and cleaned under his right eye to reveal brownish-purple circles under his eyes along with some of the blue veins showing through. He looks down shyly. "When I do sleep, I sleep nonstop for up to twentie hours, or sometimes small two to four hour increments. Other than that, I'm awake a lot." He says and I take the face cleaner from his hand and wipe his left eye, evening it out.

"So why don't you show people?" I ask as I finish and he looks up at me with his amber eyes and I realize yet again just how fucked I am. He'a close enough that I can see every fleck of color, from brown to orange to even red and yellow. They pop off of the miscolored skin under his eyes and he's beautiful.

_Shit, Victor, you're not supposed to be thinking this._

"Because... I don't know." He says and turns away from me. "I only do this to get away with going out in public without being recognized. I don't really like showing things that make me weak, I guess. And it's not exactly attractive." He says and I want to tell him he couldn't be more wrong. That he's not weak and that he's so, _so_ attractive, but before I can say anything, his phone is vibrating again. He walks over to his phone and picks it up. "Hey, Victor is coming with us, so bring Mila." He says and I hear screaming on the other side. Yuuri rolls his eyes.

"Listen, you two are gonna fuck tonight anyways and I'm gonna have to crash in his room again so we might as well just invite them both. I was with him anyways." He tells Phichit and I chuckle at his coverup. He stride over to me and slaps my arm, holding back a full on laugh and he smiles at me. "Okay, we'll meet you in the lobby." He says and hangs up before laughing.

"I hate you, you know that?" He says with a mirthful grin and I shoot one back. This is right. I know that. Us being comfortable with each other is what I want from this and if I don't push it, I get that. 

"Hate you more." I say with a wink and he giggles. 

"Put your shoes back on and some kind of disguise. When we do this, we try not to be noticed." He says and unlocks my phone and I already know he's turning off location services, which is probably smart since I always forget to be careful of that. As soon as my shoes are tied, he's grabbing my arm and pulling me out and I have a slight felling today is just gonna get weirder.


	6. See

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY EXCEPT EXPECT EXTRA CHAPTERS BECAUSE IMMA BE WRITING THE HELL OUT OF THIS STORY. IM SO SORRY.
> 
> So this chapter is gonna kind of get you into how messy Yuuri's head is, but not nearly as much as in the future. He's so interesting to write.
> 
> Next chapter is gonna be mainly Mila and Victor because their friendship gives me life. Maybe Chris too.
> 
> Sorry again and please enjoy!!!

Yuuri's POV

 

As soon as we get to the bar, Mila and Phichit are all over each other. Victor has his hand on my thigh under the table and the other two don't notice. The other two flirt and kiss and I can't help but wonder why they work so well. They're so in love and they've know each other for less than a year. I look to Victor. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thrilled to have met him. He's one of my best friends, even minus the sex. We just fell into rhythm with each other, which helps as I get up to get us a round drinks, him quickly withdrawing his hand without drawing attention.

I go to the bar and try to avoid the bartender as he tries to flirt with me. I know their ways. Hell, I was a bartender. In my medley of jobs, that one wasn't awful, but it wasn't my favorite. The awkward flirting with strangers only helped me get tips and get laid. While those are both good, it became pointless. After you lose the excitement and spontaneity, it becomes a science, and science isn't as sexy as people want it to seem.

I get some gin for the table and some juice because that's just how I like to drink. I've never been a shots guy, at least since high school. I made many regrettable decisions by not pacing myself, so now I'm too scared not too. I take it back to the table and Phichit and Mila thank me, Victor just raising an eyebrow. "Since when do you drink gin?" He asks and I shrug.

"I prefer it. Vodka is just cheaper." I tell him, not mentioning I want to see him get drunk. I think tonight will be good if both of us can get past this awkward stage we're at. I'd have to be blind to not notice how tense he gets around me ever since we decided and I don't want that. I want him to be comfortable. The only thing changing is we bang behind closed doors. His hand on my leg, returning as I get settled, shows that maybe he's loosening up. Victor isn't much of a deep thinker and I like that about him. He thinks about how he feels in a moment and lets that take over. He's practical, but he doesn't go pondering every little thing that crosses his mind and it's great. I don't want him to read into everything I do. There are things I don't want him to notice about me. But while he isn't a deep thinker, he is observant enough to notice quirks and oddities. That's another thing I like about him. Phichit and Mila get up to move to the dance floor and Victor and I say we'll watch there stuff. I turn to Victor and smile.

"Favorite drink?" I ask and he chuckles.

"I'm a gin guy too, but my favorite is tequila. Or wine, but I really feel like the gay man I am when I drink it." He says, going to run his hand through his hair before just fixing his hat. His disguise isn't much, he's wearing my glasses low on his nose and a beanie on his head, which looks funny with the shirt and tie he was wearing, still from the concert, but it works for him oddly enough. "Dream car?" He asks and I don't hesitate.

"'68 Ford Mustang." I tell him and he nods.

"Good car. I'm a truck guy myself." He tells me and I laugh, because I've seen Victor drive an old-ish sports car the whole time I've known him, so picturing sexy, suave Victor is a pick up truck is a strange mental picture.

"I can't see it." I say and he shrugs.

"Well, Mila was on a farm when we first started living with her. We were in the outskirts of a pretty big town in Russia. I would drive the truck from fifteen up on deliveries when her old man couldn't, even though I was never legally old enough to be driving it. I did get a motorcycle when I was 16 though, but I couldn't legally drive a car back then. Eighteen was the legal age then and by then, I was packing up to move to the U.S." He tells me and I nod. He must not notice that I pause at the mention of his past because he plows on. "I've seen many trucks here in the states and I want one, but they're not very practical here. At least not in Los Angeles." He explains and I nod.

"I get that. I kind of want an SUV. Mustang is my dream car and an SUV is my practical choice." I say and he nods. I decide to push the topic.

"So, what did your parents do?" I ask and he stiffens a bit, but chuckles.

"I kind of figured you'd ask about them at some point." He says and looks back. "I moved in with Mila when I was 10. Long story short, my parents were there probably about once a month and other than that, I never saw them. Someone saw and contacted child protective services." He tells me and I nod, a little shocked he told me so openly. He shrugs it off. "Yuuri, I'm 25, I've had time to come to terms with it." He must notice my face, hand coming up to cup me cheek. I move away from it a bit, feel a bit awkward in public, as well as at the tender motion. I take his hand in mine and just hold it next to my lap, our fingers laced together. deciding that contact is good right now. "What about you?" He asks and I squeeze his hand without meaning to.

"Not today. Family talk is hard to get into." I tell him. Don't get me wrong, I had a wonderful family, but that's what makes it harder. It all happened so fast. I decide to switch topics as his face starts looking a mix of confused and worried. "So, what was your first job not on the farm?" I ask, feeling weird with the way it sounds rolling off my mouth. Victor on a farm is probably one of he funniest things I can picture.

"I worked at a flower shop. I was good with plants, so I helped run the place. After I moved, one of my jobs was also at a flower shop until I became a nurse. I had a lot of odd jobs other than that." He tells me and I nod.

"I feel. I've been working two jobs since I was sixteen. I've consistently been a waiter and a few other things thrown in there. I've done bartending and retail and random stuff like that." I explain and he nods. Phichit comes tumbling over and flops on the seat next to me, grinning.

"I'm really glad you decided to bring him. You two look so cute together." He says and I have no idea how he's so drunk already as he wraps his arms around me. He kisses my cheek and sits up. "Mila and I are calling an uber. I'll see you two tomorrow!" He all but shouts the last part in my ear and it's adorable as he stands up and stumbles outside where a presumably more sober Mila is flagging down the uber driver. I look at Victor who's just chuckling, looking after him.

"He's a cool guy and really loves my sister, but he's, um... what's the word?"

"Ditzy?" I try and he chuckles.

"Yeah, that works." He says and squeezes the hand I didn't realize was still holding his. I decide I like it, although I try not to pay much mind to it. He leans forward just a bit as the DJ speaks into the microphone. He asks something I can't hear and I just chuckle. Bars generally get too loud after 1:30. I shrug, letting him know I can't hear him and he leans in so his mouth is pressed to my ear.

"Let's go for a walk." He has to basically yell and I nod. I take the fifth I had bought for the table and close it, deciding to bring it with us. We make our way discretely out only to see Phichit and Mila being attacked by paparazzi, but unlike me, they handle it well. I quickly take my glasses back and his hat from Victor and let go of his hand. He takes out his phone and quickly types something, before a car pulls up. He points to it.

"Get in and don't let it leave without them." He whispers in my ear as we're still unnoticed, pressed to the door. I quickly move over to the car, thankful that people generally don't recognize me off stage. I don't have a very memorable face, especially without makeup and contacts. I get in and the driver raises an eyebrow.

"Everything okay, sir? You seem flustered." He says and I nod.

"I'm fine. We're waiting for three others." I say and he nods. I look over to them as Victor wraps an arm around Mila, leaning to whisper in her ear as he starts to get floundered for questions.

"They told me two more." The driver tells me and I turn to him.

"But he's supposed to..." The door opens and Phichit and Mila come in. Mila leans to talk to the driver.

"Drive. Now." She demands and he must get the urgency, because he speeds of. She turns to me as I give her a confused look.

"What the hell?" I ask and she sighs.

"He's handling the paparazzi. He knew if you were involved, there'd be too many questions. None of them noticed you." She tells me and I nod, processing the information. We get quickly back to the hotel and we get in quickly. Mila and Phichit walk quickly through the empty lobby, but I stay by the door. _Maybe I should wait for him._

"Yuuri?"

"I'm gonna wait up for him." I say and Phichit pays no mind to it, but Mila raises an eyebrow.

"He'll be fine." She says with an eye roll and I shrug.

"You guys go to bed. I'm crashing with him anyways, I might as well wait up for him." I say and she nods. Phichit lifts his phone to me and mine vibrates in my pocket at they go to the elevator. I look down at it.

From Phichit- Thnx bro;)

I assume he means for the room and I give him a thumbs up as the elevator doors close. I sigh, looking around the lobby and finding myself relieved it's empty. I sit in a chair and fiddle on my phone, going through social media. I'm not all that big on it, I like to keep my thoughts to myself, but Victor and Phichit are both big on it. I look at Phichit's page to check his tweets.

"Of course." I murmur to myself, seeing that he had drunkenly tweeted. I look at the door and find myself worried for him. I go on my phone, walk around the empty room, aimlessly move around until Victor finally comes in the door, an hour after we had left. And for some reason, I'm pissed as he walks in with a small pharmacy bag. "Victor, what the fuck?" I scold him as he walks through the doors. He speed walks to me and grabs my face.

"You okay?" He asks softly and my eyebrows furrow.

"You were just stuck with them for an hour, why would I be the one who's not okay?" I ask and he smiles.

"You always get anxious around them." He says and I look down. Is that seriously why he did that? Like I said, he's observant.

"My hero." I say playfully. "How are you?" I ask and he chuckles.

"I'm fine, Yuuri. I shook them after about 40 minutes. I just had to stop to..." I stop him with my lips on his, uncaring we're in the middle of the lobby, deciding that as long as he's okay, I don't need the rest of the story. I see his eyes widen as mine flicker shut, arms wrapping around his neck as his fall to my waist. It's not a slow kiss, but it's not nearly as passionate as it is behind closed doors. I pull away and he follows after me, making me chuckle at him being so flustered after just a kiss. I look around the still empty room and take his hand, pulling him to the elevator. The door opens and we quickly move in, watching as the door shuts. I turn to him, hand moving to play with his hair.

"Thanks for that." I say, hating how fond my voice sounds at that and he grins.

"It's nothing. I can do it much easier than you can." He says, brushing it off, but I just smile up at him, heart pounding. I don't know how I ended up with having him in my life. I think this often, especially now that I'm sleeping with him. How I could become friends with him, how he could ever be attracted to me is far beyond my knowledge. Plus with everything he did tonight, it makes him all the better. And honestly, all the sexier as well. I let my hand drop, looking forward.

"You better fuck me hard tonight." I say and his breath catches.

"Yuuri..."

"Or maybe I'll do the work, if you'd prefer that." I say, winking at him and his face is red as he swallows. We stand in the elevator alone and I watch at Victor moves to the panel and flicks the stop switch and I gasp a bit. Turns to me and smirks, hands moving to my hips.

"I'd say we have fifteen minutes before this becomes a problem." He whispers, leaning so his lips are on my ear. "And I've been wanting you all night." He says and my knees almost go weak. Fuck do I want him right now, but...

"Lube?"

"Bought some when I stopped."

"Thank god." I say and take his face in my hands and slam my lips on his. He kisses back, working on my belt immediately and shoves them down. He takes out a bottle of lube from the pharmacy bag and lets the rest drop. He quickly wets his fingers and trails them behind me.

"Spread your legs." He demands and I fucking love how he doesn't mess around. I take one foot out of my pants and spread my legs and suddenly I have a finger going in and out of my ass and I'm biting Victor's shoulder. It's all happening so fast and he does it so good. I knew it from the first night that Victor is definitely experienced, yet he does some things that make it more personal than fucking and regardless of the how platonic the act may be, it's a nice reminder that he does care. As the second finger goes in, he covers my mouth with his hand and kisses at my neck, leaving marks in his way. He pushes the sweater off my shoulder and kisses there, grinding against my leg when suddenly the elevator moves again.

I pull on my pants as his hand leaves and goes to pick of the bag and discarded lube. My sweater hangs low enough to cover my erection as the elevator open, Victor covering his own with a bag. A women with a dog comes in the elevator and presses the same floor Victor and I are on. She eyes us with a smirk. I swallow. The door opens and Victor grabs my hand, pulling me out and I feel my confidence from earlier fall. The moment is over, but the tension isn't and I know it's continuing as soon as the door is closed.

"Want a drink?" I ask and he raises an eyebrow, but nods. I walk to my bag and pull out a bottle of vodka Victor got me. Comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist.

"Wanna play a game?" He asks and I turn to him, trying not to be flustered by how close he is.

"What kind of game?" I ask and he smiles.

"Truth or dare, but if you wanna chicken out, it's a shot." He proposes and I stop, eyeing him.

"That sounds like a game to get me wasted and horny." I point out and he nods.

"Exactly." He says with a wink. I smile and pull out the other bottle, handing it to him. This is good. I can work my confidence back up.

"First person naked does the work. And no daring to just completely strip." I make the rule and he swallows as I take the cap off, taking a shot and crinkling my nose. Vodka is so hard to take straight.

I move to the bed and sit on it, legs crossed and he follows after me.

"Okay. Truth or dare?" I ask and he smirks.

"Truth."

"When did you lose your virginity?" I ask, figuring since he knows my story and he chuckles.

"I was sixteen and it was spring break. We booked a hotel in Saint Petersburg, got wasted, and everybody coupled off." He tells me, shaking his head. "Well I guess not coupled. I ended up with two others." He tells me and my jaw drops.

"Your first time was a threesome?" I gape and he chuckles.

"Definitely helped me figure out that I'm Bi. It was great." He informs me with a chuckle and I laugh too. "So, truth or dare?" He asks and I weight my options.

"Truth."

"Have you ever been in love?" He asks and I shrug. Looking back, was it love? I feel inclined to say no, but it was a long relationship. And despite everything, I stayed with him. 

"Yes. Once." I say and take a shot of the drink to avoid talking further about it. "You?" I ask, curious into Victor's past relationships. He chuckles, looking down. His voice is quiet when he speaks.

"Once. When I came to the states." He tells me and I hum.

"So truth or dare?" I tack on since he doesn't seem to want to continue either and he takes a drink.

"Pass. Truth or dare?" He says and I find myself surprised at that, but don't press.

"Truth." 

"Tell me your kinks." He tells me and my eyes widen as I shake my head, drinking from the bottle again.

"Hell no. I'm not scaring you away with my kink. We'll stick to yours." I tell him and he raises an eyebrow.

"How bad could they be? Tell me your worst and I assure you mine is probably equally bad." He tells me and I roll my eyes, burying my face in my hands.

"Daddy kink. Definitely the worst." I say. I wait for the inevitable "ew, you freak," but it's quiet for a second so I peak through my fingers. When I look at Victor, his eyes are wide and his face is red.

"Well. We have similar tastes then." He admits, face forming a smile. My face couldn't be darker and I'm starting to get turned on again.

"Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"We've been doing an awful lot of truths." I point out and he chuckles.

"Then dare." He says with a smirk and before I can think anything, I spit out the first thing that crosses my mind, proving that I may be starting to feel the quarter of a bottle.

"Kiss me." I dare and he is suddenly crawling over me so I'm laying back. His hand moves under my chin, tilting my head towards him and for some reason, this wasn't at all what I was expecting. He leans down and presses a soft kiss to my lips, stealing my breath away. He moves his lips slowly on mine, basically massaging my bottom lip with his own. I realize that this is the softest Victor has ever kissed me and it makes my heart beat inconsistently.

I don't notice my eyes are shut until he moves away, making me open them. He's smirking above me, incredibly composed while I'm a heaving mess.

"I finished the dare." He announces and I don't want it to be over. 

"I noticed." I say quietly, confused as to why my heart is pounding. It was just a kiss. He's kissed me many times before, so why does this seem different as he leans down for another kiss? My arms wrap around his neck as he kisses me with a bit more vigor. This time when he pulls away, he moves to kiss my neck and I shamelessly moan.

"I hope you know what you started." I tell him and he chuckles.

"I think we started this on the elevator." He tells me and I can't say I disagree, especially considering I'm already decently stretched.

Which reminds me.

"Aren't I supposed to be doing the work?" I ask and he shrugs.

"Technically, you changed the rule to whoever strips first." He points out and I stand up, moving him off of me. I drop my pants and underwear, toeing of my socks on slightly uneven feet. The alcohol is kicking in, but not enough to where I feel anything but more relaxed and a bit wobbly on my feet. I pull off my sweater as well and smirk down at him.

"Well, would you look at that?" I say, moving into the bed and crawling over him. He gulps and looks up at me as I move so my face is just inches from his. My hand blindly fishes for the lube and his eyes flicker to it before moving back to my face. He looks shell-shocked honestly. Shocked and incredibly aroused. I pour some of the lube in my fingers and instantly get to work, stretching myself open. His hands move to my face, pulling me in for a kiss as I finish stretching myself. I sit up straight, take his dick out of his pants and look up at him when my mind catches up with me.

I probably look like a fucking whore right now. I just stretched myself open for him and am fully prepared to ride him and he hasn't even taken his socks off. Not for the first time, I look at him and just freeze a bit. I want this. I know I do. But I'm completely naked on top of him and he's gorgeous and I'm nothing compared to everything he is.

"Yuuri?" He asks and I'm kind of just staring at him under me, instantly feeling self conscious. He's so fit and gorgeous and I'm not even wearing the makeup that makes me look presentable. I've always been bad at topping because of that, especially while still bottoming. You can't tell me sex faces aren't ugly as fuck. He sits up and kisses me, taking me out of my thoughts. Focus on kissing him. Focus on him. With that in mind, I reach and take hold of his cock behind me and he gasps in my mouth, giving me room to push my tongue in. His battles with mine and I lose quickly as I start to sit on his dick, letting it slowly enter me. I moan and my hands go to his shoulders as his land on my ass, both of us groaning as I bottom out.

"Victor..." I moan and grab his tie, keeping him close as I move up and down on his cock. I pay attention to things he likes. When I clench down, when I grind my hips, when I kiss him or say his name; anything to make it good for him. And I know how he appreciates it by how his hips stutter a bit under me. I lift myself so that only the tip is in and slide back down. Pretty soon I start just kind of bouncing, moaning and screaming when he hits my prostate. He sits up and kisses my neck, one hand moving to my dick.

"You're doing so good, Yuuri. You're so good for me." He rasps and god, I think I have a new kink and it's Victor's voice. His hand wraps around me and he starts pumping me as he thrusts up into me, fucking me as I scream.

"Yes Victor! Oh my god, I'm gonna c-cum!" I shout and he chuckles darkly.

"Cum for me, Yuuri." He says smoothly, and I cum with one last moan, him cumming in me at the same time. I fell forward onto him and he chuckles, hands tangling in my hair. I lay there like that and feel no desire to move despite how gross this is.

"God, maybe you should take the lead more." He says with a tired laugh and I internally swear. There's no way in hell I'll be able to do that within the next few weeks and feel confident enough to actually finish. He kisses my head though and I just allow myself to melt into him.

"You just wanna lay there and do nothing while I have a dick up my ass?" I joke and he breaks out laughing. His laugh is actually really refreshing, taking us out of what felt like a serious mindset. Or maybe that was just me. 

I look up at him as he calms down, no long laughing as hysterically. He looks down at me with a smile and kisses my forehead. "You offered." He points out with a dopy smile and I don't know why, but I move up to his level and kiss his lips. He seems a bit surprised, taking a minute to return the kiss, but when he does, he presses back just as hard. Well, it's hard, but not fast. It's lazy after that round and while alcohol hazes my mind, I can't help but hope there are many more nights like this.

But I can't.

That's the thought that makes me get up, giving some quiet excuse of needing to shower. He offers to come with me, but I just shut the door behind me. I walk into the bathroom and turn on the shower. While waiting for it to heat up, I stand in front of the mirror.

I've never thought of myself as an attractive guy. I have stretch marks and I'm scarred and I look like I haven't slept in months. Looking at myself in the mirror now, looking at my somehow still slim stomach, I wonder what he could possibly be attracted to about this. Victor is gorgeous and I...

No. I can't think like this. I can't let myself talk myself out of this. I'm in this until Victor decides to leave. I want to enjoy this as long as I can have it.

I step into the shower and even my breathing I didn't realize when uneven. After years of panic attacks, I learned how to get the under control. I mean, I have stage fright, but I go on stage for a living. I had to figure it out. When I'm on stage, I appear confident because I don't have to say a single word. I know what the papers say about me being the brooding, hot bassist and I just find it funny. If they knew how I fall apart when I'm alone, they would be shocked.

I don't even know if Victor knows how anxious I am. Yurio and Phichit know for sure, having helped with so many panic attacks, but there are still many things Victor doesn't know about me. Like the fact he just found out I have insomnia.

It's things like this that solidify this won't work. Even if in the moment, I want it to be more and to last longer, I know that's just hormones and emotions coming up at being desired again. He doesn't know me enough to desire me. He desires the exterior.

And I'm a bit scared to see what happens when he sees the interior.

I finish washing myself off and walk out of the bathroom to see Victor asleep, come covering his chest. I cross the room to him and wipe him down with the towel I'm using before throwing it on the floor. I look down at him and smile. He really is beautiful when he's asleep. He looks calm and happy with a small smile on his sleepy face that makes my chest tighten. I lean down and kiss his cheek and he sighs, falling further into the pillow.

There are moments, even with a one night stand, that you feel accomplished. Not for the sex or the action, but for the person you managed to woo, even for that short of a period of time.

I pick up my bottle of vodka and take a sip while I start cleaning and wonder how the hell I have him, even if it's just for now.


	7. Different

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And after a month, look who's back!
> 
> I'm so sorry.
> 
> But the good news is, I'm done with finals and I have a good direction for where this story is going!
> 
> So the plot is going to build from here and back stories will start to be revealed. You start to get a bit into Victor's backstory, but his will take awhile. Thank you for all the comment and kudos and I hope you guys like the chapter!

Victor's POV

 

“Mila. You _can’t_ tell Phichit.” I scold her, already regretting my decision. I came to her for one reason and one reason only. Because I know how easily I can fuck things like this up and I can’t let that happen.

When I woke up a few mornings ago, the bed was empty, there was coffee on the nightstand for me, my room was clean and Yuuri’s stuff was gone, and since then, he’s been out by the time I woke up every morning. We have our final sound check in about an hour and I thought if I told her, she’d just roll her eyes like she does at everything stupid I do and help me not fuck it up.

“How can I not! This is huge! Yuuri hasn’t committed to anyone in years!” She didn’t react the way I thought she would.

“He didn’t commit. We’re just having sex.” I remind her for the sixth time? Seven? I’m not sure, but it’s been about five minutes.

“Multiple times on multiple occasions. When’s the next time you’re meeting?” She asks and I pause, thinking about how it’s probably tomorrow night since we’re on the bus, but regardless, the routine has kind of been set.

“None of your business.” I don’t even sound a little threatening. I’m smiling at the thought of being with him again, even if it’s only platonic sex. Mila is looking at me in shock.

“Shit, either the sex is great of you’re digging yourself a grave.” She says and I shrug.

“Probably both.” I admit honestly and she grins.

“My best friend is falling in love.” She says as she throws an arm around my shoulder, making me shove her off of me. I’d be lying if I said that the fact Yuuri is at all interested doesn’t make me insanely happy, but it does feel weird. It’s almost as if we’re just using each other and it feels wrong, but not at the same time. I just…

“Why don’t you seem happy?” She asks and I shrug.

“Is it weird that I don’t want to just have sex with him?” I ask and she sighs.

“No, but this is Yuuri.” She says, sitting down. I sit too, crossing my legs and facing her. “Listen, I don’t have details, but Phichit told me Yuuri has had a bad history with relationships. You can’t force stuff onto him, _especially_ a relationship. He’d probably have to be in love again to even consider it.” He tells me and I groan.

“So I basically have to make him fall in love with me? A boy I’m not even sure if I have that strong of feelings for?” I ask and Mila raises an eyebrow.

“Well, from the sound of the conversation before you said that, you were pretty sure you had feelings for him.” She tells me, sighing. “Let yourself fall for him. I have a good feeling.” He tells me and I roll my eyes.

“Fall for him? I don’t even know if he likes…”

“Victor, this isn’t the time to get cynical again.” She full on scolds me. I bite my tongue. “He isn’t Anya.” She says quietly and I look down.

“I never said…”

“I know you were thinking it.” She stops me and I bite my lip. I hadn’t even thought about it that way, but connecting the dots, it explains my hesitance.

“It’s just… it’s been awhile, Mila.” I admit and she smiles.

“Maybe you should talk to Yurio about it. You know how he was before…” I don’t even let her finish the sentence before I’m on my feet.

“Oh my fucking god no.” I say to her. It’s not that I don’t enjoy my brother, but there are too many dangerous factors that go into telling him. “Mila, he’s like a baby brother to me. Age regardless, I’m not dragging him into this.” I stress and she lets out a chuckle.

“Maybe you should’ve thought about that before falling in love with his best friend.”

 

* * *

 

 

Playing guitar has always been natural to me. Piano was harder to learn. It was the opposite for my brother who took to the piano like a fish to water with slight instruction on my part. If anything describes Yurio and I, it’s just that. We’re completely different people who meet at a common ground.

I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. Because of that, we go to each other when we are trying to get new perspectives. He helps me write more piano ballads while Yuuri helps me with guitar centric songs. Yurio was the person who got me out of my slump and I was the one who got him out of his.

Right now, I’m with him while the others are out getting food and I can’t help but wonder if I should tell him. I know I can’t, but I want to so badly. He’s my baby brother and he would know what to do better than anyone.

Mila was right. Well, half right. I do like Yuuri, quite a lot, and while I don’t want to involve Yurio, maybe it would be better if he knew what was happening. I mean, he’s going to find out eventually and he always used to hint at Yuuri and I.

But love? How did Mila jump from like to love? She was hesitant with love before Phichit and yes, while she did abruptly fall in love, it’s not like all of us did.

Love is something I’m careful with. I don’t want to wake up and be in love because next thing you know, you can wake up and no longer know if you do or not.

I’ve seen too many people change their minds to jump in.

But it is Yuuri. That’s the only thing that makes me think maybe it’s possible. Because he’s the boy who babysat me the first night I met him and the boy that gets nervous before every show but seems to forget about it the minute he’s on stage and the boy who never seizes to amaze me.

Could I love Yuuri?

My fingers stop plucking at the guitar as I realize that I could very easily fall for him.

“What’s on your mind?” Yurio asks, not looking up from the piano he’s playing. He’s working on a new song and won’t tell anyone of us about this one. I can tell it means a lot to him as he presses various keys.

“Nothing.” I tell him, deciding it’s safer than telling him my thoughts. If it becomes anything else, I’ll tell him. If it’s love… God, I’m acting like this is a relationship! I’m just sleeping with him and I need to remember that.

_Why is it so hard to remember that?_

It’s been a week ever since the night at the bar, I wake up to an empty bed regardless of what happens the night before. Hickeys have moved to under the collar as old ones begin to fade, and just overall, Yuuri is more careful. He acts the same every other time we’re together, but it’s enough of a shift to have me worried.

I like him. I just have to admit that.

But even so, I don’t know if that changes a damn thing.

“You can’t just tell me nothing’s wrong when the lines on your forehead are that deep.” He tells me and I frown as he stops playing. He’s not wrong. I smoothen out my eyebrows and turn to him.

“Am I an idiot?” I ask and his answer is instant.

“Of course you are. What is the reason this time?” He asks and I shrug. I still don’t know if I should tell him, but quite frankly, he’s doing the whole romance thing much better than I am right now.

“What made you fall for Otabeck?” I ask and he smiles and I have no doubts he can probably figure out a general reason why I’m asking.

Otabeck and Yurio were friends for years before finally getting together. Yurio was a lot like Yuuri, but at the same time, we all knew he wanted love. He went for the wrong guys and tried for a miracle; to change the bad boy and make him good and he eventually figured out that he had already done that in his best friend. They had gradually fallen in love and one day Otabeck asked Yurio if he loved him and Yurio point blank said yes. They’ve been together since.

Yurio’s smile isn’t even fully pointed at me. It’s reminiscent.

“One day I noticed his eyes.” He says quietly, not looking over at me. His eyes are pointed at the distance, as if reliving it. “I’m not an observant person. I see a person as a full picture, but one day I looked at him and saw his eyes. I had never noticed they were brown. I know that sounds stupid, but everything was in those eyes. I saw the way he lit up when he played music and the way they narrowed when he was around people he didn’t like. He rolled his eyes to hide when he was scared and I don’t think I’ll ever forget the way his eyes widened when I first kissed him.” He explains, looking over at me. His cheeks are dark, but he’s still smiling. “He’s stoic. He’s blunt yet quiet and I finally found what made him him. And when I fell for that, I fell for everything else he is.” He tells me. He looks down after a moment coughing. “But you know, I didn’t tell you that.” He says gruffly and I chuckle.

“Of course not.” I say and he looks up at me, eyebrow raised.

“But really, is this about someone new or exactly who I think it is?” He asks and the door opens and Yuuri and Otabeck poke their heads in the practice room.

“We’re on in fifteen.” Otabeck tells us, coming in and walking up to Yurio. “Mila wants to walk through your guy’s solos ready quick.” He says and Yurio nods, Looking over at me.

“We’re not done here.” He says to me and walks up to Otabeck, kissing his cheek before he walks out, but I have a feeling we are done with the conversation. Frankly, our conversations are always short. He’ll remember this, but he won’t bring it up if I don’t.

“So we have that stupid talk show in the morning.” Yuuri says and I nod.

“Yeah. We still need to all figure out what cover we want to do.” I tell him and he nods.

“True. I have a couple ideas for it, I just have to talk with Yurio to make sure he can figure out a harmony.” Otabeck tells us and I hum. Otabeck normally is the one who works with covers. He has a general understanding of every instrument after working at the record shop with Yurio, Yuuri, and Phichit. Whenever he works on a cover, he has to change it from the original. “It’s like taking something great and making it great in a different way,” he had told me when I asked why he did it that way.

“What song?” I ask and he shrugs.

“I Feel It Coming by The Weeknd? I was thinking it worked with out sound. And since it would be acoustic and a bit more piano centric, you could just do vocals, you would play bass, I could could use shakers, and Yurio would do piano, and Phichit would play guitar.” He says, gesturing to Yuuri and I accordingly and I raise an eyebrow.

“And Mila?” I ask and Yuuri smiles.

“She’ll be with Chris, picking up a ring.” Yuuri says and it suddenly hits me. Tomorrow’s the Cleveland show Mila planned on proposing then. I knew it was soon but she told us about it just over a week ago.

“You think Phichit will say yes?” I ask and he nods.

“Without a doubt.” He assures with a smile. He looks out the door before moving towards the piano, playfully tapping at a few keys. “I have a feeling the wedding will be in Vegas, so that’s a month away.” He says, looking back over with a smile. “We should get out there.” He says, bringing his bass from his back to his front. He walks out and I look to Otabeck who is just smirking.

“What?” I feel the need to ask and he shrugs.

“Nothing at all.” He says and chuckles. “Anyways, Yuuri, Phichit, and I are getting pizza after the show. You game?” He asks and I shake my head. If Mila is proposing tomorrow, then she’s going to be freaking out tonight.

“Naw, I think I’ll stay back. Thanks though.” I say as I stand up and he shrugs.

“Suit yourself.” He says and smiles at me. He walks out of the room and I’m reminded of how odd Otabeck is. Maybe it’s just because I know he can outsmart me and does on a daily basis, but that’s besides the point. I stand up and walk over to where my guitar is and check my phone a final time. I see a text from Mila and internally groan. It’s going to be a long night.

 

* * *

 

 

“What if he says…”

“He’s not going to say no.”

“And if he does?”

“He’s not going to.”

“And if he does?”

“I’ll kick his ass.” Yurio cuts in. Mila, Yurio, Chris, and I are on the tour bus while the others are out. Yurio is just glaring at us from the corner, typing on his phone. He’s never been good at being supportive in a conventional way, yet somehow I know Mila would be going insane without him here.

“Mila, he loves you as much as you love him. How do you not see that?” Chris says and she shrugs.

“I don’t know. He’s gorgeous and sweet and all the girls throw themselves at him at concerts when they’re not on Victor.” She’s half joking to lighten the tension, but it’s true. Every band has they’re desired member and Phichit and I are probably the ones on the news most. Mila is the badass, Yurio is the baby, Otabeck is the dad, Yuuri is the mysterious one, Phichit is the friendly social media presence that’s adored by all, and I’m the frontman. It’s kind of funny how some of them are so fitting while others are so wrong.

“Mila, he loves you. Don’t worry about it. He’s always wanted to get married young.” Yurio tells he and I smile. He cares despite his indifferent disposition. She turns to me and I smile.

"He loves you. It's obvious and I have no doubt he'll say yes." I state honestly and she relaxes, having the certainty of everyone in the room.

The bus door opens suddenly and the others come in. They’re all buzzed notably and smiling as Phichit makes a beeline to Mila. He leans down and kisses her on the lips, making her break it in slight confusion. I smile as Phichit talks.

“I love you so much.” He says in a harsh whisper so all of us hear it. I look up at Yuuri, surprised to see him wrapped in the leather jacket I gave him. He’s standing next to Otabeck who is smiling at Phichit as well and I suddenly get why they went out tonight. They were probably making sure this was a good idea.

Yuuri comes to the couch and sits next to me, grabbing my hand and burying it between our thighs, close enough that the others can’t see. The others are focused on the couple, acting disgustingly in love with each other, but I notice Mila look over with a raised eyebrow, then pointedly looking at Yuuri. Yuuri is smiling over at Phichit though, not really noticing that Mila has completely figured out everything. Just the fact he’s wearing my jacket raises Yurio’s eyebrow, but nobody else questions it. No one else probably know that old thing is mine.

The night is calm after that, Yuuri pulling out his old beaten-up acoustic and playing for all of us, quietly and people sing along. I don’t know who brings out the scotch or how we all start singing One Direction. I don’t know how we end up at some shit Mexican food place. I don’t know when I was the most drunk or when everyone falls asleep, Phichit, Otabeck, and Mila in beds and Yurio and Chris on the couch across from us. All I know is what happens after they do leave.

Yuuri is laying with his back leaned on my shoulder, singing softly as he plucks at his guitar. My hand is in his hair, playing with it. His glasses are long abandoned and he still wears my jacket with a grey tee shirt with some tight black jeans. He’s singing quietly to a song I’ve never really head before, smiling drunkenly.

 

_You're the boy with the big blue eyes_

_And I'm the one who told him I thought they were beautiful,_

_And you just rolled those big blue eyes and told me I'm insane._

_And thinking of..._

 

“Why don’t you sing more?” I ask and he flushes. He turns his head towards me, but doesn’t look up.

“Because, I’m not great at it. I used to sing a lot, and now I just sing when I feel like it. When I have a song stuck in my head or I’m working on one. Sometimes I just have a lot on my mind and need to work it out.” He tells me, still plucking at his guitar. He sighs and leans further into me, less like a board and more relaxed. I just sit, sort of surprised. He doesn’t think he’s good? He has the voice of an angel. It’s soft but strong and he just sounds like everything he sings, he means.

He always seems to play this guitar when he’s not on stage, I notice. He hardly touches another. It’s old and beaten in, with stickers all over, worn thin with years. He writes songs with it, he plays everything not on stage on it and I honestly think the only reason for that is that it doesn’t have an amp input.

He continues to play, not really looking anywhere, a smile on his face. “You know, it’s weird to think about Phichit getting married. We’ve been friends since we were five and he’s had his wedding planned since he was six. Now all this time later, it’s actually happening.” He says, face pensive in a way I don’t understand. I kiss the side of his head and rather than moving away, he leans into it.

“You know, you’re gonna get married someday too.” I tell him and he shrugs.

“I don’t know about that.” He says quietly, reaching and picking up some soda that he had switched to awhile ago. He’s not much of a water drinker. He’s always drinking either soda or alcohol, but remains so thin. I find it funny though, since he has admitted to gaining weight easily. Though, his diet is decent for the most part, especially without him eating meat. I know he likes meat, but the way he looks at animal pictures gives me a decent enough reason, even if he won’t admit it.

I decide not to fight him on his argument. He’s a stubborn guy, and especially right now, he’s thinking about something and I don’t want to disrupt him.

He plays the guitar for what feels like hours until he sets it down, pushing me onto the couch and climbing on top on me. He kind of just lays on top of me like a blanket as I kick my legs onto the couch as well. His face is buried between my chest and the seat.

“Shouldn’t we go to bed?” I ask and he peaks up at me.

“It’s much less suspicious if we fall asleep on the couch.” He justifies and cranes his head to kiss me, but ends up just kissing my chin instead. I tilt my head down and peck his lips.

“You’re being pretty cuddly tonight.” I say, almost regretting it after I say it. He just hides his face again.

“We haven’t cuddled much lately.” He tells me shortly as if that’s an expectable answer for why he’s cuddling now after avoiding me for a week. I don’t question it as he scoots up, kissing me in a more normal way than small pecks. It’s deep and sexual and something familiar at this point. Our kisses don’t vary much, even less so since our night of truth or dare when I kissed him the way I wanted to. Even now, cuddling and kissing and nothing more, he’s carefully drawing the line, but I don’t think anything of it this time. No, of course I don’t. I won’t until tomorrow when he’s professional and a friend and not pressed against me because frankly, I can’t even think as he pulls away from my lips with a sigh and laying his head on my chest. I glance to the other two in the room and see they’re both dead asleep, even cuddling with each other at this point.

I look back at Yuuri as he closes his eyes, mouth in a straight line, and wonder if I’ll ever know what’s going through his head. The thought makes another long forgotten face flash across my mind.

_Why am I remembering her?_

It’s been a long time since I had feeling for someone. I don’t like to think about the past. I’m not someone who dwells on it too much, but certain wounds leave scars instead of healing evenly. I know this is one of mine, and that’s fine, but I don’t like to think of it’s cause too much.

His form is small on my chest; he may not be too much shorter, but I’m much more built than he is. Maybe that’s why, for the first time, I see him as fragile as his finger traces shapes into my chest. I don’t like thinking of Yuuri as fragile either. In fact, I personally think he’s strong. One of the strongest people I know, actually. I don’t even know the surface of what he’s been through, but from the sound of what people mention, it’s nothing to be overlooked.

“Victor?” He calls quietly and looks up at me. I hum and he just looks at me for a moment before kissing me again. I kiss back, but my mind is left wandering. I have no idea what goes through this boy’s mind at times like this, but he pulls away from me, tilting his head down so that his forehead is pressed to my lips.

_Could I love him?_

I hate how my mind wanders when I'm with him. I think back to my conversation with Mila. Could I love this boy? I don't think so. I think it's possible later, but I don't know him well enough. But I could. Very easily, actually, and that's terrifying.

Should I even continue this, knowing that it won't be just a casual thing for me? Should I...

Wait a damn second.

 _I'm Victor Nikiforov._ I think to myself. _I'm Victor Fucking Nikiforov._ Since when have I ever let my feelings control me? Since when have I ever been so taken by something like this? Even with Anya, it wasn't this bad. I could think straight and I knew I could get over it. I _did_ get over it. I lived just fine, I was able to pull my weight, and I never let myself grow attached to anyone I knew wouldn't stay.

I look down at Yuuri, who glances up at me, offers a small smile, and closes his eyes to sleep.

_So why is he different?_

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be tagging this on Tumblr:
> 
> Fic: Play On 
> 
> URL: http://lavalampwriting.tumblr.com


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